Being A Douchebag

Chapter [30]

“Yeah.” I said, my voice was muffled by now. I ran my thumb along the phone pressing the ‘end call’ button.

~*~

When the door opened to my room the next morning, my senses pricked up immediately. No matter how hard I slept, I could always hear someone come in and this time I recognized my mom’s soft footsteps. Though my ears were on high-alert, I kept my eyes shut. I preferred to ignore all confrontation.

The bed dipped as she sat down, shuffling slightly. I felt her hand gently push back the hair I had used to cover my face. Affectionately, she began to stroke the crown of my head in a graceful rhythm. This was how she’d always woken me up when I was a child.

When I realized she wasn’t going to leave, I open my eyes reluctantly. My mom sat, looking down at me knowingly, “Cassandra Mc’Connell you think after so long I can’t tell when you’re ‘fake sleeping’?”

She half-smiled sheepishly, “Hey mom.”

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” She asked directly.

I avoided her piercing gaze, “Who said there’s something wrong?”

“You came in last night and went straight to bed when I know for a fact that you never go to sleep at that time and you love Wednesdays. I cook lasagne on Wednesdays.” She said matter-of-factly. “Secondly, you don’t normally wake up with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks.”

I mental note to destroy all evidence of what was going on in the future, my mother picked it up so easily it was unbelievable. “I feel ill.” I said. Well, it was half the truth anyway.

“Mm-hm.” My mother was clearly disbelieving. “Now the truth Cassandra.” I looked away but I could feel her eyes on my face, nervously I shuffled under the covers. “Boyfriend troubles?”

Got it in one, mom. “No, nothing like that.” I mumbled. “I’m fine.”

“So you’ll be okay to go to school. You don’t feel ill anymore?” I could hear the teasing tone in my mother’s voice, I was trapped.

In a hope to end her game, I decided to play along, “Yep. I’ll be right down mom.”

I felt her get off the bed and make her way towards the door before stopping. “Honey, judging by the hickey on your neck, the sweat-pants bunched under your covers that I’m sure don’t belong to you and that pretty little necklace – I’d say I was spot on.” I groaned, she knew. “I’ve had my fair-share of heartbreaks baby, and I also know that when you want to talk you will but don’t let whatever happened steal your happiness.” And then she left.

I wanted her to come back, I wanted to ask her how long this kind of pain lasts but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Grudgingly, I rolled out of bed remembering how I’d tied myself – now I had to go to school. Nausea washed over me but I fought the longing to crawl back into bed.

✣ Jason Rogers ✣

Was it bad that part of me was happy? Somewhere, deep down a little part was glad that Cass and Andre had split. It didn’t necessarily mean I had a shot but it meant she wasn’t with him and I would take that over anything. The rest of me ached for Cass – right now I knew she would be hurting and I would try to help her as much as she would let me. Only if she let me.

I didn’t want Cass getting hurt any more than she was; Vulnerable people do vulnerable things.

✤ Cassandra Mc’Connell ✤