♥ This Just Feels So Soon ♥

Chapter 16

I uncomfortably adjusted my hand at the top of the flower stems so the petals covered my ring, as I entered the church. Tyler's mother, Leahia, greated me with parcially red eyes. She dabbed her nose with a crinckled klenex before bringing me into a hug. "How are you?" I asked in gentle voice. Leahia gave me a small nod, as she somehow managed to hold back the tears glistening at the surface of her eyes. "Better... you?" she spoke in a soft voice that would break off every now and then.

She was like my second mother and it abolutley killed me to see her this way. So helpless when it used to be the other way around. Leahia helped me when Tyler got out of control, she was someone to talk to about everything. But now... I'm not so sure she can even look at me the same way. "I'm okay. Just focusing on work, and school," I lied because I didn't know what to say, and not to mention that I wanted to cover up the fact that I've barley worked, and was kicked out of school. I know Leahia would never get upset with me over these things, but I always worried about disapointing her. "That's good," she replied.

Then I felt a shoulder make contact with mine, bumping me sideways. I looked behind me to see Tyler's older sister, Emma. She gave me a deep glare before vanishing into the crowd. Emma. First person to clarify their hatred for me... good for her. At this point I wanted Josh here more than anything, just to feel him hand intertwined with mine would make me more confident than anything. "You'll have to excuse Emma's poor manners," Leahia said as I turned back in her direction. Leahia's face was palenow, besides her cheeks which were a light pink from embarrasment.

"Oh, no that was my fault. I need to watch were I'm going." She raised her eyebrows at me and I felt like dying right there. "E-excuse me," I said moving past her qiuckly and making a b-line for the bathroom doors. I looked in the mirror, taking a deep breath, and began to fix my hair. "Well, look who it is." I turned to face Anneliese, Tyler's eleven-year-old cousin. She crossed over to me from the stalls. "Hey Anne!"

I was genuinely excited to see her. She was one of those spunky outgoing kids you just had to love. "Haven't seen ya in a while," she said while smaking her gum. "I know, I've missed you." I took a close look at her. Although her features were slightly different from the last time I'd seen her, she still had that olive skin, short black hair with straight across bangs, and bright green eyes. "Auntie Leah says you've been having a rough time. My mom doesn't seem to like you much now though."

Of course she doesn't, I thought. "But Auntie always defends you!" she added in quickly; trying to reassure me. "That's alright, not to many people in your family like me very much anymore," I confessed to her. Then I placed my hand on her head and combed through her hair. "Well, I still like you," Anne said sweetly. This made me smile. "Come here," I said in a happy voice and brought her close to me.

As she hugged me the bathroom door flew open and startled us. "Anneliese!" her mother, Debby, barked at her; oblivious of me even being there. When Debby finally noticed me, her posture straightened, and her voice became formal but cold. "Come along. The service is about to start." Without waiting for her daughter Debby withdrew herself from our veiw. "See you inside!" Anne hollered at me as she ran through the door to caught up with her mother.

As the ex-girlfreind who 'made' Tyler commit suicide, I played it safe and sat in an empty pue in the very back of the room.The service was long and rather boring, but when we reached the cemitary it all became so real. It was the first time I'd ever seen Tyler'slifelessbody. I wanted to delay this moment as much as possible. But I somehow went from the back pue in the church, to front of the crowd at the barrial. I now had a clear veiw of him, his face was so white he could be wearing make-up. As they began to close the casket I started to feel light headed. Slowly and cautiously, I inched my way further back into the crowd untill I could easily slip out without being detected.