♥ This Just Feels So Soon ♥

Chapter 13

I never really planned to talk about my grandpa, but it just sorta came out. Once it did though I felt so much better. Like it made me stronger somehow... As we ate, the guys all took turns sharing embarrassing tour stories about each other. "...So we sorta just smashed Josh's head in between the seats and ripped the shit out of his underwear," Ian explained, laughing through every other word. 'Shut up!" Josh said, playfulling tipping Ian's chair over. Caught off guard he crashes to the ground.

Ian collected himself shrugging off Josh's banter, and began to dust his jeans. "Not my fault you get stuck in shitty situations all the time," Ian said casually as he sat down in his chair. "It is if you cause it," Josh barked back, glaring at him. There was a moment of silence that fell over us, long enough for me to noticed Mike humming something that seemed vaguely familiar. "Hey what's that song called?" I asked in a hushed voice. He looked up from the burning logs he'd been adjusting with the firepoker. "Hm? Oh, um...I don't know. It's been stuck in my head all day."

We all sat there in complete silence as MIke and I racked our brains to turn the melody into lyrics. He began to hum softly and then the entire song came rushing back to me. "You Found Me, The Fray!" I said a bit to excitedly. "That's it!" Mike confirmed to me. I set back in my chair, resting against the soft fabric, and stared up at the sky.

"That was my grandpa's favorite song. But he would only sing it with me," I spoke practically in a whisper. I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but I was still smiling. And it wasn't fake, I even laughed a little thinking of all the crazy times I've had with him. "Brooklyn-" Myranda tried her best to cut in, but I wouldn't let her stop me. My lips kept moving saying things I don't even remember, and eventually I found myself singing.

"Lost and insecure. You found me, you found me. Lying on the floor. Surround me, surround me. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you, where were you? Just a little late. You found me, you found me..." I sang through silent tears.

I was pleased by the fact that even though I was crying my voice didn't quiver once. The last couple words hang in the air above us untill I decided to break it. "Why do you always look at me like that?" I asked Josh a little harshly. He bit his lip."Just thinking...you kind of, take my breath away sometimes and I don't know what to say..." Josh said softly. I could tell I embarrassed him. "I, um..." But I didn't know how to respond. "Matt, I think were about out of hotdogs. Help me carry some more down?" Myranda said loudly getting up from her chair.

"Um, yeah, of course. Hey guys come on. Time to break out the marshmallows," Matt said as he got up from his chair and streched. Myranda took Matt's hand and they headed up the hill followed by Brett, Mike, Ian, and eventually Jonathan. There was an uneasy silence between Josh and I. I sighed and got up from my chair."I'm sorry. I didn't know that," I said then crossed my arms over my chest and looked down at where he sat. Josh pulled my down onto his lap by my hips.

"You have an amazing voice... no wonder your grandpa only sang it with you. Your probably the only person who understood the meaning behind the lyrics, had a deep enough relationship with him, and could sing it that beautifully." I stared into Josh's deep comforting eyes as a smile prosisted across my face."You think so?" He shook his head like I was crazy not to believe it myself. "Definitely." He knew exactly how to make me feel special. I wrapped my hands around the back of his neck. "I love you," I said practically giddy.

"I love you too." I kissed him for a while when something popped into my head and I pulled away. "What's taking them so long?" Josh just shrugged his shoulders."Well come on!" I said hopping up from his lap and pulling on his arm. He didn't budge. "Your so slow, hurry up!"

I started for the hill and glared at him as he got up and started streching, doing his best to taunt me. I walked back to Josh and pushed him, concidering he was still streching it was unexcpected, and he lost balance. Josh caught the arm of his chair at the last second,regaining the ground under his feet. I ran for the hill but was stopped by his hand. Josh picked me up and twirled me in the air. I laughed as he set me down, then gave him a quick kiss before another light shove to his arm. "Race you!" I yelled speeding to the backyard, and up the porch steps, just to be beat by Josh who was three feet infront of me.

"Not...fair," I gasped inbetween long deep breaths. He just laughed opening the side-door to the house. We walked into the kitchen to see everyone (but a soaking wet Jonathan) dying of laughter. "What'd we miss?" Josh asked. When Brett was finally able to speak he explained how Myranda had been washing her hands from sticky marshmallows, when Matt splashed water in her face. This turned into a water fight and when Jonathan yelled at them to stop flirting...it backfired. It's not that funny," Jonathan said in an annoyed tone, while taking off his shades.

He frowned and rubbed them against the tail-end of his damp shirt to no effect."So anyone up for marshmallows?" Matt asked tossing a bag to everyone. "I hate marshmallows!" Josh and Ian said in unison. They both chucked the bags at Matt. One hitting his hip, the other smacking him right in the head. "Gee, you guys are nice! A simple 'no' would've been enough," Matt complained.

"Sorry!" Ian said messing up Matt's hair on the way to the fridge. "So... another round of hotdogs?" Ian asked pulling a bag from the fridge drawer. "I'm a little tired, are you?" Josh was rarley tired I wasnt going to beg him to stay. "Yeah, I think I'm ready to go home," I said resting my head on his shoulder. I gave Myranda a hug followed by Matt,Ian,Brett then Mike.

Then I got to Jonathan and went in for a hug, when I realized he was still really wet. I backed away, and awkwardly pat his back, making everyone (Including me) laugh.

                                                                                     *   *   *

I was about three steps from the platform that Josh's apartment was located on, fourth floor, when my phone rang. I pulled it from my jacket pocket as the chorus to 'Celebrity Status', filled the air around me. I didn't reconize the number but pressed talk anyways. I started to walk towards Josh, who was struggling to unlock the apartment door, as I talked. "Hello?" I said in a cheery tone. "Hello. Is Ms Barlow there?" asked the unfimilar, formal voice. "This is she." Josh glanced up at me with a confused face and mouthed 'Who is it?' 

I just gave him a shrug then tuned into what the lady was saying. "This is Mrs.Monroe with the Vancouver's Clark County Courts . There seems to have been a misunderstanding in your file for a Restraining Order to Mr.Tyler Evans."

"Mhm," I muttered so she would continue. My features were like stone now, dreading the next thing that escapes her formal tongue. "Mr.Evans, was found dead in his house about a week ago. The cause of death was suicidal actions by gun." My phone was the first thing to collapase to the floor. The second...my body.