In Cloudy Waters (Ereri/Riren)✔️

.Hidden So Masterfully.

Chapter Created By: RakaiaNovelette

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"Love is blind. It will take over your mind. What you think is love, is truly not. You need to elevate your mind"

I never really put much thought into how much freedom I really had until I met my first guide, Armin. I had come back to school after healing from the accident, and he was placed as my first guide. It had taken a while, but I finally got used to everything I had to do, and so Armin just made things easier.

When he told me about others that he had helped before, he mentioned all of the jobs he had to do. He would cook for people, dress them and take them shopping. He would get someone ready and then leave them for the day, and other people were harder because they needed help showering.

I managed to adapt much quicker than anyone he'd ever worked with- is what he told me.
One day, I asked him to help me talk to somebody, because everyone was too afraid to really approach me, he said that I didn't need those kinds of relationships.

Isolation was the first thought that brought me back down. Sure I had those friends from junior high, and my father still cared when he was around.

How long would I really last until I was too much of a burden to people? And since I found out how much control I didn't have over my own future, was around the time when I think I understood my level of freedom wasn't the same as everyone else's.

It occurred to me that they were all blind to that.
There are some things in life you never get to see until your sight is taken out of the physical world.
How did Kidd Rock say it? "I once was lost, but now I'm just blind." Never been a huge fan of rap...

I sat there and listened to my friends talking again, not really having anything of value to input. Their spirits were high, and I couldn't tell if that was because I was back to hanging out with them again, or they were just always like this.

I perked up when I heard Levi's name though.
"So Eren?" Sasha said, and I practically heard the food rolling around her mouth as she tried to talk around it. I made no move to hide my grimace at having to listen to her. "How's life with Levi? It must be getting better since you're back here..."
"No Sasha, that's wrong," Connie argued from beside me somewhere. "If they were getting along, he would be with Levi, don't you think?"
"Don't you guys ever listen?" I demanded over the both of them. "I said that once he and I got more comfortable together, then I'd come back to you. But I wanted to spend more time getting to know him."

They hummed, probably remembering.
"How much of him did you get to know?" I could hear the smirk in Jean's voice. And Marco tried to shush him. "Don't really see how he could stand to be around you and your smarta-," I assumed I hit him with my water bottle dead on with a lucky shot when he shut up after I shot it in his direction.

"Told you," Marco giggled.

I had never come out and said my sexuality to anyone, so I was just assuming Jean was guessing. But how did he really expect me to answer that.
"I don't know him well enough to ask to be a full-on burden. Did you think of that?" my face started burning.

They didn't respond to me. I wouldn't know how to respond to that either, but I really didn't want to talk about it either.