21 - Shutting it all out

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XXI. Shutting It ALL Out

Song of the Day: - Tonight (Best You Ever Had) by John Legend

*It Wasn't Me by Shaggy

*Gorilla by Bruno Mars

Dedicated to evie1090 for being a stellar human being and for voting!

Angelo Tallerico

The pain was numbing and that was just what I needed. The numb, other than this stinging pain that was my heart being stabbed over and over again. Seeing her face again felt as though an electric cord had been passed through my body. And when I had seen her at school with Jasper, my whole body had itched for nothing mom than to just beat him within an inch of his life. The harsh truth was that I was still in love with Madison Shepherd, and the harsher truth was that she was a manipulative little Delilah who had played me for a fool. Madison Shepherd had no place in my life now.

Soto and Damien had shown me how to rise above it all.

"Shut it off," Damien had advised. "No place for emotions or feelings in this business."

It burned me because I knew Damien was right. Whatever I felt for Madison, all my feelings for her had to die. I had to let it die. And so I did. I had told her to leave, that I never wanted to see her face again, that I didn't love her anymore. I hated the thought of her with another but I knew it was over, she wasn't coming back. It had been nine days, too many hours and I was still hurting so much that I could die.

I was twisted, completely screwed over because one side wanted so badly to just hate her so it could be easy to forget her and the other I just wanted to break down and cry. And at the same time I wanted to run after her and beg her to take it all back, to say she still loved me... back to those times when I held her against my heart.....

 

'Snap out of it Angelo!' my mind screamed at me. That was all lies and it's all gone now. I had work to do.

Leaving with Damien, I met up with Soto as he had given me an assignment. Working with Soto wasn't bad, I'd quit my job at the Italian Kitchen and had been given a generous allowance. Who was complaining about that? Definitely not me. In his office, I placed a file on his desk before him. My assignment had been to find out some info on a notorious drug baron that was pushing drugs on our own turf without permission.

"His name is Bo Winogratski," I said as Soto flipped through the file. "His main guy is some meth addict named Tom Rogers. He hides out like a rat and he's Winogratski's personal pet dog but he usually hangs out at this sleaze bag joint called Dudley’s. And guess what?" I held up a Snicker's bar, "Rogers' is allergic to chocolate."

Soto's eyebrows flew up in surprise. "Chocolate? Are you kidding?"

I shook my head. "I kid you not. We're talking deathly allergic. What do you say we go down to his hang out and good cop/ bad cop this guy into telling us where Winogratski is?"

Soto raised an eyebrow. "You're getting really good at this business, Angelo."

I smirked. "I know my stuff."

Dudley’s was a cheap bar flooding with crack heads and addicts looking to score more rock. I knew exactly how to control our situation. Immediately Soto entered, I placed a wad of cash into the two guards' hands. "Keep it quiet around here. Got a little business to take care of."

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