Smile {A Phanfiction}

Smile (chapter twenty nine)

Phil

My vision was blurred and hazy because of the tears that clouded my eyes, a new droplet of salty water was formed for every old memory that was remembered or when a new regret was realized. I had managed to make it all the way back to the flat, the only place where I knew I could be comforted and forget (some of) the bad feelings I now had, without ramming into anything. When I reached the door I could feel a whole new wave of tears starting to roll down my cheeks as well as a smile beginning to form on my face for the second time.

I climbed the stairs upwards towards my haven. No one could hurt me in my own home, I would never allow it. My footsteps were slow but determined, I just wanted this whole day to be over, I just wanted everything to stop. Maybe the universe could pause for a moment so I could take a breath and compose myself. But the universe isn't that nice, I should know.

Dan 

He looked terrible. His red, puffy eyes were still gushing with fresh tears that turned into a stream that cascaded down his face. But he didn't even bother to wipe them off, maybe he knew that new tears were inevitably going to take the place of the old ones.

I couldn't resist the temptation. I walked up to Phil, probably cutting him off from any explanation he was about to give me, he stared at me with the saddest expression I had ever seen in my life. I threw my hands around him, probably startling him more than anything else. I hugged him so tightly and with all the strength I could muster because I was scared to death that he fall to the ground and collapse into a pool of tears that would drown him. Phil stood in surprise for a minute but eventually hugged back with everything he had, which I could tell by his state of being, wasn't very much. But that was perfectly fine, I could supply enough energy for the two of us.

My arms had gone around Phil's waist like they were trying to hold him together, and my hands were gripping at the fabric of the back of his shirt because I kept on thinking that the more I clung to Phil, the less likely it would be that he would collapse. Phil's arms went around my neck and crossed at the back tiredly, without much effort. And both our heads we laying on each other's shoulder, I could feel his tears start to fall onto my shoulder and back. It was so upsetting to see Phil like this, but I had a pretty good idea what had done this to him. Or rather, who had done this to him.

I pulled away from the embrace while keeping my hands on Phil's shoulders. "What happened?" I stared into his blue-green-yellow tinted eyes, searching for the answer myself.

"It's a long story," He said through tears and sniffles, his voice still cracking somewhere in the middle.

"I'll go make some tea."

*************

Phil's story broke my heart. I felt so guilty that I hadn't told him sooner about Victoria, he could have avoided the sadness. Could have avoided the heartbreak. I knew that the problem wasn't completely my fault, but I felt responsible for the whole thing anyways. All of Phil's tears and sniffles and emotions were all my fault.

"And that's when I saw her in bed, with, with-" He blew his nose into another tissue and let out a few weak sobs. I had my arm around him for support, like any other friend would do in a time like this. 

"You don't have to go on if it makes you uncomfortable, I understand Phil," I passed him another steaming mug of tea, the sugary kind that he loves. "I'm here for you, I will always be here for you."

He looked up into my eyes, his were still bloodshot from crying. I wish I didn't have to see him like this, it was tearing at my heart and my soul. Every sad stare or whimper would be like another stab into me.