Smile {A Phanfiction}

Smile (chapter fourteen)

Phil

I woke up with a feeling of dread and importance hanging over me. I still felt guilty too about Dan walking out last night and knowing I was the reason behind the drama between us, but there was something else on top of that. I felt like today something was supposed to happen. Like today was a day of significance.

I opened the door to my bedroom which was now flooded with the sun's bright spotlights. The weather even hinted at something special.

I entered Dan's room, hoping to find him asleep and back in our flat, like this mess I had gotten us in never happened. But Dan was non-existent in his bedroom. I was worried, everything was just adding to the feeling of importance that this particular day was giving off. 

I walked into the kitchen when I noticed it. On the calendar Dan and I had put on the fridge door in our shared kitchen, there was (in big and bold marker pen):

BBC EVENT TODAY

Crap.
Dan is still gone. I have no idea where he is. And we have a very important BBC event today.

I started to pace around the flat like a madman, just double checking that Dan was not still hiding in any of the rooms. He was nowhere in the flat. I started to panic even more. But this was all my fault.... wasn't it?

Dan 

I had slept over at Pj's that night. After we had finished ranting to each other about our problems with our love lives (or lack of which), Pj had offered me a place to sleep in his loft bed while he slept on the couch, giving up the comfier option for me like a true buddy. I denied though and said I would sleep on the couch instead.

That morning, I had woken up to the sound of my phone ringing and buzzing in my pocket (I had slept with my day clothes still on). All the calls and texts were from Phil. A little part of me was happy to get notifications from him and was hopeful that he wanted to fix the problems from the night before, but the larger part of me was concerned that I was getting so many messages and thought that something was wrong.

I immediately picked up my ringing phone, and I was met with Phil's frantic voice:

"Dan where are you?!' he practically screamed through the phone, "We have the BBC event today!"

"What BBC event?" I was genuinely confused because we hadn't talked about any upcoming events for ages.

"You know, the one I was picking out shirts for, like 2 weeks ago!'

"Shit."

"You have to come home! We have to get organized by 1:00 and be down and ready to go at BBC from 2:00."

I looked at the time. It was already 11:50.

"I'll be back at the flat as soon as possible!" I said before gathering up all my things, saying a rushed goodbye to Pj and hurrying out the door and to the nearest underground. The entire time, all I could think was:

SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.

I was full of adrenaline and I had started to run as soon as the doors to the tube had opened at my stop. I ran until I had reached the flat. I quickly checked my phone's time right before I opened the door to the flat. 12:45.

I banged on the door with my fist as hard as possible, disregarding my keys that were crammed inside my jeans pocket. Phil opened the door with a surprised look on his face. He was already wearing one of the dress shirts he had picked out, it was quite smart. The shirt was white but had blue/black birds on it (it was one of my favorites). But I quickly rushed past him, determined to be ready by 1:00.

Phil

 I was taken aback when Dan came back at 12:45, I expected a much later time from him, like 1:30 or something. I kind of just gapped when he ran past me, (I assumed) to get ready for the event. I followed Dan back up the stairs. I  was just behind him so I saw the door swing closed right after Dan had gone in his bedroom.

It felt nice knowing that Dan came back, even if it was just because of an obligation. But I still didn't know why he had left and where he had stayed for the night. I planned to ask as soon as Dan was done changing.

You were the reason he left, and you bloody know it. 
And he was probably at a friend's house, because he no longer considers you his friend. 

************

Dan came out about 30 minutes later, at around 1:15. He was in a plain white dress shirt, and overtop was a black suit jacket with white stripes going down it. He was clearly putting more effort into his look than I was, I wasn't even wearing contacts, just my bulky glasses.

Dan walked into the lounge awkwardly.

"So are we ready to go?" He asked, standing a significant distance away from me.

"Yeah..." I was trying to pull my eyes away from Dan's figure in the suit jacket. He really did look good. "I think we should call a cab though."

"Right." Dan pulled out his phone to get a cab on the way to the flat, to drive us to BBC.

************

The cab was filled with a very uneasy mood. I knew both Dan and I were thinking back to our current situation. I knew I was at fault but I still kind of stood by the idea of finding new people to fall back on.

But they're all just distractions...aren't they?
You don't have any intentions to be together with anyone but Dan.

And that was the truth.

Dan

I so badly wanted to break the tension. So badly wanted to make everything like how it was before. Before Phil had to go and complicate everything.

But it wasn't just Phil's fault...was it?
You're the one who insisted to close him out because of your dumb fan fiction.

I couldn't handle the silence anymore.

"I spent the night at Pj's"

Phil quickly looked over, clearly startled by my sudden comment.

"Oh." Was all he could say.

"I'm also really sorry about not telling you about that by the way, going out last night. I just needed some time to myself." I said the last bit a little under my breath.

"Why?" He definitely heard the whole thing.

I fought the urge to tell Phil everything. About how I hated the thought of him with other people. About how I was scared to be alone once he finally found someone. But I could never say any of that to his face.

"I don't know. But for a while now we've been kind of distant haven't we?" I finally said,

"Yeah, I guess so..."

"Well, I don't know what's been happening but I'd really think I'd be better to maybe...actually...talk to each other once in a while. I'm tired of all these awkward tensions."

Phil sighed.

"I know, I just want to start over, okay?" Phil asked, seeming like he understood what I was talking about, with all the recent events.

"Agreed."

I was relieved to know that Phil and I could finally turn over a new leaf.

For now, everything would be fine.