Smile {A Phanfiction}

Smile (chapter twenty)

Phil

I went out again with Victoria that weekend, and was incredibly pleased to find that the second attempt at our first date went as well as I wanted it to go, and possibly even better than that.

I took her to a popular restaurant that was right in the centre of London. She seemed very happy with my choice and everything about the date should have been amazing. The conversation, the food the scenery. But to me, something was missing. I felt like something was out of place the entire time, and I couldn't put finger on.

"I'm having a great time," I looked over at Victoria. "But I apologize about what happened last time with my flat mate, we don't usually fight like that."

"It's fine! Me and my old room mate used to drive each other up the walls when we were living together." She completely disregarded my apology (but she didn't understand the circumstances, if she knew how much I lied to Dan and how much I soiled our friendship she would never forgive me). "I'm currently living on my own, me and my flat mate recently had a falling out and we haven't talked since..."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I was only half paying attention, I was trapped in my thoughts of self pity and fear of the future of Dan and I's relationship... I mean friendship.

"Yeah, when she left I felt like the whole world was against me, that is until we started talking." She smiled at me and I snapped back into full concentration of our conversation.

"Well we're hear, in a fancy restaurant and having a good meal...The world doesn't seem to be against you now!" I smiled back at her and for a moment I forgot about the feeling of uneasiness in my stomach.

*************

The sun started to set and the sky was painted in dancing colours, it was our cue to end the date before it got too dark. Victoria and I were walking out of the restaurant into a crazy busy street intersection.

"Well I had I great time." She looked over at me with her green eyes that seemed to be piercing green in the off lighting of the sky.

"I had fun too!" I said it genuinely, forgetting the weird feelings about this whole thing, I had fun.

I was about to turn away to hail a cab on the hectic street's corner, when I felt a gentle warm feeling of some one's lips on my forehead and quickly pull away. I turned around to see Victoria walking away, her hair whipped around in the wind like it was made out of silk. She quickly turned around to give me one last smile before rushing to find her own way home.

I was struck with an unexpected emotion. Guilt. She had kissed me in the same spot I had kissed him. Dan. I knew I was still in love with him, but I also knew and he would never feel the same way about me.

After all, this is why I started to go on dates with people in the first place. To get over the fact that he'd never love me and the fact that I would never ask... rejection might mean the end of our friendship.

Dan 

Phil had gone out for the day (now I actually knew where he was, and it wasn't out to get coffee with Chris), and I was left alone in the flat. Since I could think of literally nothing to do, I decided to keep working on the fiction. I had gotten pretty far in the story and I felt like I had also gone pretty far with our relationship.

Phil walked into the room nervously. Dan looked up from his laptop and gestured for Phil to join him on the sofa. But Phil couldn't sit down for this.

"What's up?" Dan looked confused. Phil's hands were behind his back, like he was hiding something.

"Um...I was hoping that I could ask you a question," Phil's hands were shaking with anticipation. "It's really important."

"Yeah sure, what is it?" Dan said while putting away his laptop, and giving his boyfriend his full attention.

Phil bent down onto one knee. Dan's hands shot upwards to his mouth to cover it up, his gasps still escaping him.

"Daniel James Howell, will you do me the great honor of becoming my-"

"Shut up you spork!"  Dan jumped out of his spot on the couch. Phil stood up as well, holding out the ring. "Come here."

Dan rushed towards Phil, completely disregarding the ring and hugging him like nothing else mattered. Because nothing else did matter. Dan had just gotten proposed to by the person he loved more than anything in the world.

"So are you going to wear the ring or not?" Phil laughed into Dan's shoulder.

Dan pulled away from the hug and toke the ring out of Phil's hands. "Of course I want the ring!" Dan giggled but was interrupted by a soft kiss placed on his lips from Phil.

"And you call me the spork."

I don't honestly know where it came from. I've just wanted this so badly and to just write it out and have the whole thing be perfect in the future I had envisioned was amazing. Too bad it will never be a reality.

Phil

I came home still in a haze with my own mixed feelings about the date. I had fun and I wanted to experience that again, but when she kissed me, I felt guilty and like I was betraying Dan in some way (even though I had already done that when I had been lying to him for like 2 months). But I was greeted with a unsuspected surprise when I walked into the lounge.

Dan was watching an anime on the TV (I'm pretty sure it was Free!). I walked through the door frame, even though it took Dan a little while to notice me, he looked over as soon as he realised I had came in.

"Hey." He said, glancing up at me from the couch. I was surprised that he spoke to me, wasn't he still upset about this whole dating thing?

"Hi," I said back to him awkwardly. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah sure." He seemed cool, like nothing had ever changed between us.

Dan

I was tired of this whole back and forth we had going on. I was determined to stay friends, I was tired of being alone all the time, tired of the silence and the loud thoughts screaming at me from inside my brain when no one is there to listen.

Phil

We ended up sitting together and watching about 5 episodes of Free! and talking about regular things like our videos and possibly finally putting up a gaming video. I finally felt like things might start to be brightening up. I have no idea what had gotten into Dan that made him not hate me and actually want things to move forward in our lives, but I was not mad about it.

I knew I wouldn't stop going out with Victoria (even though I knew the human sitting next to me was the one I really loved), but knowing that Dan might not be upset with that, made me feel at peace. And it had been a while since I had felt like that.