why are guys such jerks or is it just me ?

chapter 24

I broke up with Noah.It just wasn't working.He wanted sex and I wanted love.Megan had her baby.She had a boy.They named him Jace.He is so cute.I haven't seen them since the baby was born but how and ever.I am not like the way I was.I'm a new person.Happy.Well some times.Damon moved out to be with his girlfriend.I miss him like mad.He is coming over for dinner and I just cant wait to see him again.He is coming on his own though.But I dont care.My mom and dad are melts.They let me do nothing since Damon left and its not fair.Andy moved away so I am free from him but his mates are still here and they hate me.Its so hard being me.

When Damon came for dinner I dived on him.He started to laugh.

"Miss me that much?".He asked hugging me.

"Hell yeah like you dont even know how much I missed you".I said smiling at him.He looked different.But a good different.

"Ok well I'm hungry so lets eat".We all sat down and ate our food.We talked for ages.Cindy was pregnant and Damon was going to be a dad in a few months.I was so happy for them.I mean he really should be happy.I get to be godmother.We watched a movie and then he had to go.I didnt want him to but he promised to come around soon.So he left.I went to my room and sat on the floor writing in my diary.I know thats not the best thing to do but it helps a lot.I have everything in it.I still feel like I need some help but I dont want to ask for it.

Days later.

I was in work when Andys mates walked into the shop.They started to mess and I had to trow them out.I couldnt do it so I went into the back and asked Josh to do it for me.He went out and threw them out.They came back in and then I stood up to them.

"What do you want?".I asked crosing my arms.

"You dead.You see when Andy left he said he wanted you dead so we are going to do that but you are making it very hard".Ben said looking me up and down.

"Well I am heardly going to lay down and let you.Oh and one more thing come any where near me and I swear to god you will wish you didnt".They laughed and left the shop.I let out a sigh.

"What was all that about?".Josh asked.

"Nothing its OK".I said getting back to work.

When I was done I left and went for a walk around the park.No one was around so no one could come near me.I thought about my life and why people would want to kill me I mean I'm not a bad person and I never hurt any one in my life.I mean what would they get out of it?.I walked around foran hour and then finally went home.When I got in Ben was sitting in my sitting room talking to my mom.I stopped in my tracks and looked at him.

"Oh dear your home".My mom said smiling at me.

"Yeah I am".I said looking back at her.

"Why didnt you say you had a date tonight?".She asked.

"Erm because I dont have a date".I looked at Ben and he was smiling at me.

"You do Ben is taking you out".She said.HA.

"Yeah right.Ben get the fuck out of my house before I hurt you".I said pointing to the door.He stood up.

"Why are you talking to him like that for?".My dad asked.

"Because this little runt wants to kill me and I said leave".He walked to the the but my mom called him back.

"Ben is that true?".She asked like she didnt believe me.

"No I would never want to kill some one".She said.

"Cher why would you lie?".My dad asked.

"Stop!".I screamed."Just stop.Why are you all ganging up on me? If its not Ben and his mates its you two making me do things I dont want to do.Why the fuck would I lie about something like that cop on will you.Ben I wont say it again leave".This time he did.When he was gone my parent looked at me.

"I am very unhappy with you missy.He wanted to take you out not kill you".My mom said pointing her finger at me.

"I dont fucking care OK and he wants me dead OK he is mates with Andy and they hate me so please get your facts straight  before you give out next time".I went to my room and slammed my door.If Damon was here he would understand.I looked around my room.I wounder if they would miss me if I was gone? I sat on my bed and looked at my wrists.They were clear.All my old marks gone.I went and got my razor blade and sat back on my bed.I cut myself and laughed when I started to bleed.When I was done I just looked at it.I started to cry because I do these things and then I wounder why? I guess I am just like the way I was.