Kindred Spirit

Chapter 20

I can feel the sun on my skin but it fails to warm the chills spreading inside of me. I feel as though icy water has mixed in with my blood and is slowly freezing me. I shake my head to clear it of any negative thoughts. My vision is having a greater impact on me than I believed. I keep picturing Ryker's lifeless figure sprawled out on the ground only a few feet away from me. Though my own life was mere seconds away from ending my fear is only for him.

I will come back if Corden kills me, Ryker will simply be gone. I can't help but wonder what Corden planned to do when I regained my memories. If he killed my I would still remember everything. Maybe he hasn't thought that far ahead with his oh so brilliant plan.

I open my eyes in frustration. The small garden around me is silent yes but it does nothing to help me focus. My mind is constantly plagued with questions, concerns, things I try to grasp but just can't understand. Clayva continues to appear in my thoughts as well, why does she act so cold towards me? Had I done something to her in a past life? Ryker wouldn't tell me, he said I should speak with her and reveal the answers on my own.

No one has bothered my all morning. Ryker asked me during breakfast which was the only brief time I've seen him today, if I could use my visions to uncover any more information. Anything would be helpful to us at this point. Corden has a witch at his side with her own verity of magic abilities; all we have are my visions. I feel as though this is the only way I can be helpful to Ryker and to the army preparing to fight not only for Ryker, but for me. I don't have the same strength Ryker does, but my visions are powerful. Ryker had warned me not to push myself but I plan on gathering as much information as I possibly can, I can't risk losing Ryker now.

I once again try to rid my mind of all distracting thoughts which proves not to be an easy task.

In order to call forth a vision I must be completely focused on what I wish to know. Some visions come when they please but I can also will them to come to me when I would like. I let out yet another sigh of frustration as I hear the door to the garden open quietly.

"I haven't uncovered anything yet and I won't be able to if I'm not left alone," I say coldly. I don't mean to speak with a harsh tone but I'm becoming irritated not only with my visions but with myself.

My visions are one of the few ways I can truly help in this situation, and now I can't even do that properly.

"It's been awhile since I have heard that tone in your voice," A female voice speaks. I turn to see Clayva approaching me. Her dark red hair moving around her like a halo of dark fire.

"As much as I love to argue with you Clayva I'm currently preoccupied, could we do this another time?" I shut my eyes and try to ignore her presence.

"I realize I spoke unkindly to you during the meeting, I am here to apologize." My eyes open in surprise. That is one thing I wasn't expecting. My facial expression must convey my confusion because Clayva releases a sigh. "It's hard you know? To see you like this? To see you at all. I remember everything but you... don't even know who I am."

I don't move from my place on the grass. "You think it's hard? Try seeing it from my prospective. Each day things I never knew about my past is revealed, and with it I live all of the emotions. I have felt painful deaths more times than you could even imagine. I feel the weight of all of these memories threatening to crush me, to overwhelm me. I have to accept them all as a part of me, and if I give in and let my past consume me I will practically shatter!"

Clayva looks upon me in stunned silence. She doesn't speak as she examines me closely. "It's hard to look at the woman who saved your life, and see she doesn't remember you." With that Clayva turns and walks away before I can utter another word.

What could I have said anyway? Had I saved Clayva's life in the past?

I want to know about Clayva and our connection. I shake my head slightly. There will be time to sort things out with Clayva after the battle tomorrow, for now the battle takes top priority.

I lose track of time. I still sit in the garden; my eyes are the only reminder of how long I have been trying to gather information. They pain with every blink and refuse to remain open. I groan in pain as I hear familiar footsteps approaching me.

"Didn't I tell you not to push yourself?" Ryker reaches down and picks me up from the ground.

"You knew I wouldn't listen," I mumble as I rub my eyes. Ryker sighs but doesn't argue. He carries me inside the castle as I struggle to remain awake and ask questions.

"How is everything going? Are things all set for tomorrow?" Questions tumble aimlessly from my lips.

"Amaya everything is fine don't worry, you just get some sleep okay?" We enter his study and he lays me upon the couch. He calls for a maid to bring a cool cloth which he places over my eyes. "Did you see anything useful?" Ryker asks when we are alone. His voice is gentle and low.

"I didn't see too much, I wasn't overly focused today. I did see more information about the battle itself." I inform Ryker of all I have seen. Mostly about the amount of solders Corden has and the landscape. As far as I can tell we should come out victorious. But my brother isn't a force to be taken lightly.

"Thank you Amaya," Ryker says cupping my face softly. "All information is useful."

"I should have been able to find more... It's just I was worried about you- and me- and everything else. I couldn't stop thinking of my vision and the witch and Clayva."

"Amaya you have helped greatly with preparation. Without you we would be going in blind."

"You don't understand Ryker. My visions are the only way I can help you, and I am disappointed in the lack of insight I had today." I take a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not strong like you, I can't think like you can... I can't lead people as well as you."

"Your strength isn't like mine," He confirms, "Yours is far greater. You have died over and over again and yet you still go through life with a smile. You have felt unbelievable pain and yet here you are, still fighting through it. You are strong Amaya everyone is aware of that the only person who is not, is you." He leans down and kisses me lightly on the lips before standing. "I have final things to go over, you rest your eyes." I hear him walk towards his desk.

I let my body relax his words have had a much needed affect on me. I feel stronger, calmer, I feel more complete knowing others don't see me as weak. A small image passes through my mind of Clayva and I. She and I are working in my garden; we each have wide smiles on our faces. Clayva tries to hide the pain she feels at each movement but I can see it. I allow her to have some of my blood to ease her pain. The friendship- No more like a sisterly bond fills my heart with so much joy that it over shadows the pain brought on by the small vision as I fall asleep.

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Hey! I just wanted to thank you all so much for your understanding last week. I'm back to updating each Friday! I love your kind messages. Internet issues have been resolved so we're all good, which you all know since I have been active again XD Thanks again!

I wish you all A Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! I hope this time of year is enjoyable for us all. Thank you all so much for reading. It really does mean a lot that you are enjoying this story!

See you all next Friday!

Love you all!!

,;;Courtney;;,