Kindred Spirit

Chapter 14

Ryker and I stand in silence for what feels like a long time, but is probably only a few moments. His arms are comforting and I feel my body relax into them. They feel both new and familiar to me. His shirt is wet from my tears but I am far too lost and confused to truly care at the moment. Ryker doesn't seem to care too much either. His hand traces lightly along my back in a soothing motion. He doesn't speak, he doesn't ask me any questions, and He doesn't expect anything from me. For these few moments I feel at peace.

I am the one who shatters my own tranquility as I reluctantly pull away from Ryker's soothing embrace. He doesn't try to stop me, his arms don't tighten nor do they pull me back. Ryker releases me when I want it; I know this is a great show of how far he has come. I gather my words carefully before speaking. I try to keep my voice from wavering as I free my words.

"I don't-" I break off my sentence and try again once more. "I don't trust you, I don't trust him. I also can't deny the fact that... I feel something for you. I feel a connection to you, but I also hate you. You have hurt me, you killed Anne... But you loved me too, you still do. I know things are hard for both of us, I know I'm not the only one going through hell right now. But I cannot love someone who can be so cruel." I make my voice sound stronger as I continue speaking. "I can't look at you one second and find you looking at me adoringly, only for me to look away for a moment and find you tearing the head off someone when I return my gaze to you. I am no Angel, but I am not like Liara, or Hadley, I am not Amerie, and I am not Merayya. You have gotten colder and colder over the years, and if any of them were here, because they are me, and I know how I feel."

Ryker is silent throughout my speech. I can see a flash of hurt in his eyes. "You're asking me to change who I am, I only became so cold, so hateful because I couldn't handle losing the woman I loved over and over again. I won't apologize for loving you, and I won't tell you I am sorry that losing you hurt me, upset me, and yes angered me." My face falls as I realize he is saying he won't change. He continues speaking before I can utter a response. "But you're here with me now, I am no longer angry. You are not like Liara, or any of your past selves. You are different, you are you, and you are slowly changing me."

His words leave me practically speechless. I open my mouth to say something, to say anything really but no words free themselves. He has done terrible things but so have I; I loved him time and time again... Can I feel that way now?

My thoughts are interrupted by the sudden intrusion of a vision. I watch the scene as it plays out before me, around me. When the vision ends I find myself staring into Ryker's deep eyes. I can see the worry hidden within them, but it is overshadowed by his usual cold gaze.

"What did he do?" Ryker asks the moment I meet his gaze. "What did you see Corden doing?"

"How did you know it was a vision of him?" I ask hesitantly.

"Because you look horrified," Ryker responds softly. "Tell me what you have seen Amaya."

I'm silent for a few moments; I'm not able to form any words. "He killed me," I say finally. I move away from him, I want space from everyone and everything. Not only have I discovered the truth of my family today, but now I'm presented with a vision of my so called brother ending my life for the second time.

"He wouldn't ever consider doing such a thing," Ryker says as he moves closer to me. "He needs you. He wouldn't kill your gift along with you."

"Think about it," I say coldly. "He killed me once before what if he can replicate what my father did? What if he can make sure my soul and my gift are transferred into another body?"

Ryker cannot argue with my logic, though I can tell he wants to. "I still don't trust you, I don't trust him, and I don't trust any of you. You have both harmed me, you have both used me." I cross my arms as I continue to glare in his direction.