Minding My Own Business

Walking away

I stayed at home for three days. It was thursday today. My cellphone kept buzzing so I hid it under my clothes where I couldn't see it. I didn't want to go to school even today also. I was walking around the rooms when someone knocked at my door.

Who is it now? Did I not pay some bill?

I opened the door and there stood Kyle, Celia and Zac. I froze at my spot. They were looking at me with so many emotions.

I was brought back when Zac suddenly hugged me "Are you nuts? I thought you did something bad to yourself.. "

I pushed him away "What are you all doing here, you people are supposed to be at school you know."

"So are you supposed to be" Celia said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Look guys, I know you want answers, I told you I wasn't going to hide it but the way it came out.. " Kyle interrupted me.

"We are here to listen to you."

I took a deep breath and started speaking "first of all I am sorry, I am not an orphan but my parents abandoned me. My aunt Carl is my legal guardian. She lives in England now. Becky was my childhood friend so she knew it all along. It was really difficult to lie to you all everyday. You were the only persons who understood me, who trusted me and all I did was to break it. I couldn't bring up myself to tell you the truth no matter how hard I tried. My parents were very young when my mom got pregnant. They had dreams to follow, I was born out of lust of a night. They wanted an abortion but my aunt came to know the truth and she took me in. My parents consider me a mistake, a curse, a.. "

Zac placed a finger on my lips "We don't care Emma and we still trust you. We have got a great understanding."

Celia hugged me saying "Idiot! you are supposed to talk to friends and phones are for answering other people's call."

I pushed her away and all three of them were startled.

I said "Guys! you don't get it, the regret on my heart is too big. Please give me some time. You all are so nice, I will ruin your lives, we can't be friends anymore, I hate bothering you, I can't look you people in the eye."

"What are you saying Emma?" Zac was angry.

"We forgive you, everything will be just like before" Celia assured.

"Don't be a pessimist, we can punish you if you want" Kyle tried to lighten up the mood.

"Shut up! Please leave and don't talk to me ever, I hate myself, I hate my existence in your lives, please leave, they told me I'll be a curse, I will bring you people down" I started crying and before I broke down completely, I locked the door.

They kept knocking and shouting but I just ran to my room and locked myself up.

I wish I could be with you all. I have to leave you. I love you people enough to let you go. I'm a curse, I will eventually ruin their lives. Mom was correct. I am unlucky for others.

I put on my headphones and cried for hours. I knew if I stayed with them, everyone will judge them too. My life was already doomed but I can't let that happen to the people who loved me so much.

They won't understand my reasons today but as time passes they will come to know that my presence or absence never mattered at all.

I got up from my bed during midnight and started studying for the scholarship test coming up. I really needed distraction and this really helped me.

At 4 in the morning, I slept for two hours. I decided to go to school today because I couldn't stay at home running away from people. I got dressed and reached school. I was scrutinized with glares, whispers and chuckles. Some even pointed fingers at me while talking but I kept my cool.

Everytime I saw Zac, Kyle or Celia, I ignored them no matter how hard they tried talking to me. Finally it was lunchtime and I thought of calming myself by going to library but on my way a pair of hands grasped me to an empty classroom. I turned around and my heart pained after seeing him.

I missed you.

"Don't decide things for me, I don't care, I am not judging you on basis of your past, please Emma come back to us" Zac said holding my hands.

I just looked at the floor with watery eyes "Zac, I am horrible, I feel ashamed... " before I could say something more, I felt a pair soft lips on mine. It felt so warm and soothing. He closed the distance between us and hugged my waist. I was tempted to kiss him back but just then Becky's face shot up in my mind. I tried pushing Zac away but he only pulled me closer.

He was kissing me so gently and passionately. Finally he pulled back saying"I love you, Emma Scarlett ."

I was so confused. I was dying to kiss him back. His proposal made me so happy. I really wanted to jump in the air but heart break was soon to follow that couldn't be denied.
I couldn't ruin his life, no way in hell.

"Say something please Emma" he pleaded.

I cleared my tears and broke the silence "I wish it was possible but a handsome rich guy like you don't deserve a pathetic liar like me."

I started to walk away but he held my hand "Do you love me, yes or no? "

Of course I love you Zac.

"That night when you were drunk, we promised each other that we will never forget each other, I saw love in your eyes.. " I interrupted him.

"You forgot, I was drunk, all I can say is that we can never be together, I am a curse and I don't want to fall on you. Please Zac I just need some time. I'll answer your question soon. I want to understand my feelings." I yanked my hand away and ran.

Even without looking back I could tell that Zac was broken.

Only if Becky never came into my life. Only if I was faster in telling the truth. I hate you Becky.

Today, one more heart was broken and that was mine.

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