In Hope Of Falling In Love (A Walking Dead Fanfic)

Chapter 44: Godless Girl

Beth stared at Daryl, willing him to wake. She hadn't thought he'd be asleep, and now he was, she could cry in peace without anyone else around. Never in a million years had she expected Maggie to die. 

"Ya back," a voice grumbled.

Beth nodded, kneeling by his side. "I... Uh, yeah."

"I'm sorry 'bout Maggie, we did all we could. I don't even know how any one of this happened; any of it. Fuck, like, why the hell would that happen?"

She shook her head in reply, staring at him. "I thought maybe if I got back everyone would be okay, that there would be no injury or sickness but... I tried my best, I did and it was all for nothing. Maggie's dead and she's never coming back. I don't know if this makes my life easier or harder but I miss my sister so much, Daryl."

"I ge' it," he said, pushing a stray piece of blonde hair from her face, letting his fingers linger on her cheek. "I lost Merle, never thought I'd be okay but now I 'av you."

"When I came through those gates I thought you were dead and Maggie and daddy and little Judith and I was so scared, Daryl. It felt like my whole world had caved in and I couldn't pull myself out of the way. I felt so hopeless and scared. I never want to feel like that again, ever and if all this means losing the only few people I have left alive in this world, then I don't  want any  part of it."

Daryl nodded, leaning forward to press his lips to hers. He didn't push hard but instead let his lips rest on hers comfortingly. When he pulled away, his eyes not focused on her, he cleared his throat.

"Hershel," he acknowledged.

Beth's father faked a smile, sympathetically looking at his daughter. "Bethy," he whispered. "How are you doing?"

She stood and walked over to her father, letting her eyes wander his body for wounds. "Maggie-"

"Bethy," he cooed, pulling her into a warm hug, his eyes brimming with heavy tears.

"I just thought maybe you were dead too," she whispered into the crook of his neck. "I thought everyone I cared about was dead. When I saw Rick-k," she choked, "I-I was so glad, you know? But I still knew someone I loved was possibly dead. I don't know if I could've lived if you and-and Maggie..."

Hershel squeezed his youngest, and only, daughter's torso, resting his face in her thick blonde hair. 

"Don't worry," he said. "We'll be okay. We still have eachother and G-"

"No," she said sternly, pulling herself away from her father. "God's gone daddy, he left once the world turned to..."

"Shit?" a voice offered.

Beth nodded. "Yeah, yeah, Daryl. When the world turned to shit, God packed his bags and left. He's not here daddy and he's not answering your prayers. We're all alone now and faith isn't going to help us. Hope is though; hope gets you through."

"Like the hope of falling in love?" Hershel said, casting a glance behind Beth at Daryl.

"I... You want to bring this up now? I didn't love Jimmy, daddy. We were dating for a couple weeks. World turns bad and I'm expected to pretend I'm married to him?"

"I'm not talking about Jimmy, Beth. You know full well who I'm talking about."

She sighed, dropping her gaze to her feet. "This isn't about him either, daddy. You know what happened. I told you how much... How much he meant to me. I didn't want to be with Rick or that boy, Zach, I wanted to be with him. Maggie said it too, okay? I get it. Maybe I did do it in hope of falling in love but I don't regret a second of it."

"I think you should get some rest," her father told her, staring at Daryl who was sitting awkwardly on the bed. "We'll.... We can talk later, Bethy, okay?"

"Okay," she muttered, looking at her feet.

Maggie's never coming back, the voices whispered her. 

The same voices that convinced her she'd be better off dead a little more than two years ago; that convinced her taking the easy way out was simply easier.

"Beth?"

She turned, blinking tears from her eyes. "I'm okay, I'm okay," she chanted quietly. More for her benefit than Daryl's. 

Before she could tell him she's really doing fine, which she's wasn't, he was walking over to her with arms wide open and then she's pressed against his chest, tears staining his shirt. 

They stood like that for a while, her crying until she can't anymore and him clutching to her as if it's going to stop her pain; because he knows what it's like to lose a sibling and he can't imagine his girl feeling like that. 

"It'll be okay," he soothed. "It'll be okay."

Beth pressed at her forehead, squeezing her eyes shut against the burning sun. It feel good on her skin but with every breathe that forced it's way from her mouth, she found herself growing weary. 

The day had been long and with every hour that passed, she finally saw the sum of loss that had amounted. Widows and orphans and parents that had lost their children; the whole thing put a temporary pause on the worry of the Governor returning.

The only thing that brought another sort of warmth to Beth's heart, was the sight of Carl and Aislynn holding hands and talking while lying in the long grass.

She'd only just learned that they'd started to discuss marriage; even if the adults all laughed and teased. Fifteen, Beth thought, was far too young to begin worrying about that but Carl had even gone to Daryl and asked for Aislynn's hand; something that if she herself were Carl would have been too scared to do.

She let herself think about what her sister would have said about it. Probably something funny, Beth liked to think. Maybe something along the lines of 'Well, first comes marriage, second comes kids'.

But thought only made her think of Glenn and all the things he could never have now his wife was dead.

Glenn.

He didn't just lose a wife that night, Hershel lost a daughter and Beth lost a sister. Some wounds don't heal; not wounds like that, not wounds that cut that deep.

Each waking moment was a memory of just how broken Beth Greene was and just how cruel this new world had become; something she'd rather not be reminded off.

The warmth from the sun disappeared from her pale skin, and waiting for it to pass, she sighed and opened her heavy eyes. 

At first she thought it was the trick of the light before she finally felt the cool metal of a blade against her skin and screamed.