The First of February (EDITING)

Torn Between Them (11)

 Ashley's P.O.V-

Harry released my body after I punched him in the gut, causing him to wheeze and hit the wall. I stared at him and hopped off the sink counter and just stared at him. I was speechless, I was utterly shocked, he just barged in and kissed me..... Hes got some nerve just charging into some girls bathroom and kissing them.

"I told you I'm not giving up," Harry whispered, smiling at me while clenching his stomach and hobbled out of the bathroom quietly. After I heard the click of the bedroom door shut, I walked out from the bathroom.

I ran both my hands through my hair, letting out a deep sigh. I flopped down on the bed onto my back, causing me to bounce a little bit from my impact.

Did I kiss him back? Surely I didn't, but..... Oh my god, I did.

I climbed up to the pillows on the bed and buried my face deeply into them, letting out a muffled scream. I was so stressed out, or maybe freaking out, probably both. Harry kept making things more difficult.

After I pulled my head up from the pillows, staining them with my tears, I felt something tucked into my pillow case. I reached my hand inside the white cotton and pulled out another note. It had pretty cursive on it and read "Meet me in the kitchen at two".

Another night, I couldn't sleep. I felt awful, I kept waking up Liam. I climbed out of our bed and slept on the floor instead to not disrupt him anymore. He probably can't stand me at night, tossing and turning so much.

I rubbed the back of my neck as I got up from the floor and quietly crept out of my bedroom and downstairs again. I wasn't quite sure I was heading down there, but I just needed to move around, maybe get some fresh air. Just something. And I do need to meet Ni in the kitchen.

I curled up onto the couch in the living room and clutched onto a pillow as I lay on my side. I quietly sobbed myself to sleep. My cheeks were stained from the tears, I was just so stressed. I am about to reach my breaking point.

I hadn't slept long when I felt something drape around my freezing body. We had left the windows open, letting the cold breeze in. Stupid me didn't have a blanket on over myself on when I went to bed. Whatever it was warmed my body up quickly, relaxing my tense body.

I fluttered my eyes open and saw Zayn. I sat up quickly making the blanket he just had lain on my body slide down to my waist. I stretched my legs out so he couldn't sit next to me.

"Morning," he smiled.

"Hey," I said sheepishly, looking him straight into those chocolate brown eyes. They looked a little hazel, but I wasn't quite sure, I was still half asleep. He looked away from my eyes and sighed. 

"I'm glad you came down," he replied, looking down at his lap for the slightest second.

"Stop right there. You wrote that note?" I asked, raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"I just, can't help myself really. You are just different then other girls," he spoke quietly.

"Zayn, no I'm not. I'm an ordinary girl from fucking Minnesota. When I met you guys, I was freaking out inside. I'm insecure about myself, hate bugs, rub the back of my neck when I'm nervous or stressed.... Would you like me to go on?" I said. 

"But, Ashley.... In a guys perspective, you are so much more then ordinary. You are perfect. It baffles me why you don't see what we all see... If you did you might understand," explained Zayn.

"Zayn, please just listen to me, I really like Niall. Correction, I love him. I hope you understand and get the message." I replied, sliding my legs around to the floor and I walked into the kitchen. "Would you like some tea?" I asked softly, filling the kettle up with water.

"I'm good," he answered, shaking his head.  I turned around after setting the kettle on the stove to find Zayn right behind me. He pressed his hands gently on my cheeks and kissed me.

I raised my eyebrows as he let go of my face. I noticed I leaned out a little bit when he released my body, as if I was lingering for another kiss, but that wasn't the case, right?

"I had to do that, just to know what it felt like,"  Zayn blurted out, walking away silently and back upstairs.

Mother of god, these boys make my life ten times more harder then it originally is. Zayn, Harry, and Niall from One Direction all like me more than a friend, god that's so strange. Niall gives me chills, sparks, and a tingle... He makes me feel different then Zayn and Harry.

Maybe Zayn and Harry try harder than Niall, but he doesn't have to try to impress me. Being the way that he is impresses me.

With Harry, yes he is very attractive, but so many girls love him. Harry is flirty and cheeky. When he sees a girl he likes, he acts like he is a lion going after his prey, pouncing down to seal the deal. Lets not forget, he hit me and took my virginity.

Zayn is like a romantic novel. He is full of surprises and mystery.

Niall is adorable. I think he has the best personality out of the three. When I'm with him, we can chill out or have fun. He is hilarious, fun-loving, wild... Should I go on? He is amazing in my eyes, the perfect boy. He makes me laugh, I am happy when I'm with him, and he is a great kisser, even though that isn't super important. He stuck up for me in the airplane, saying how I was so much more then a pretty face, how wonderful is that?

I can understand why any girl loves these boys. I just don't understand why they all like me, Ashley Wills. I'm just a plain Jane. There are prettier, funnier, sexier, flirty girls then me out there... Why me? What do they see in me that makes them go crazy? What do I have that they see and I don't?

I'd really love to know so I can stop it, to stop them. I want Niall. I love Niall, I need to remember that.

God these boys are tearing me apart inside. I'm so torn. I feel like my choice is simple to make, Niall... But I don't know if I'm so sure.... Now I think I reached my final breaking point. I've reached my limit, I'm going to explode soon. Let all of my emotions I kept bundled up for so long just come out kicking and screaming.

Am I really making this harder then it needs to be?

-

Drama, oh snap, crackle, pop.

I have no inspiration, and this story is so weird where it's going. Meh....

And the chapters are still so short cause I'm lazy. Oops ;)

-Lindsay (: