『バウンド』 Bound

Comfort From Anxious Plotting

With a great sigh and satisfying stretch, Tatsumi flopped back on his bed, basking in the fluffed sheets. He could only think nothing but happy thoughts. The dinner was so home-like, along with the hilarious bickering between Lubbock and Lauren, and Tatsumi wanted nothing more than to stay like this forever. However, as always, all good things come to an end eventually. He knew Lubbock must be feeling the same way.

Tatsumi softly punched his own cheek to focus back on the positive aspects.

"This is just a step forward." He whispered to himself with a determined smile. "Being with Night Raid will be much more fulfilling." This thought satisfyingly brought him in a ray of memories since he first joined the time. There were brave deaths, like Sheele, Bulat, and Chelsea. He will make sure to make one for the team with three times the effort he ever made. Everyone won't see him as some dependent newbie anymore. He is committed, and he will damn well show it. Him and Lubbock.

'We're not out of the game yet!'

He still has his mission of supplying money for his home village, taking down the corrupt government, and creating a new fair political system.

Sighing, Tatsumi turned to his side. Since Lubbock's feelings for Najenda are slowly fading from the distance, he wondered what his friend's motivation for being in Night Raid will be now.

...

Tatsumi jolted upright when his door was slammed open. However, it sounded like it was closed lightly in an apologetic manner.

"Hello?" The only light provided was the moonlight from behind the satin curtains. The figure walked up and before Tatsumi could prepare himself, he was suddenly met with weight settling onto his chest and arms encircling his stomach.

"I uh..?" He began not sure if he should hug back with person.

"T-Tatsumi..." At the familiar voice, he immediately held Lubbock tightly against him.

"What's wrong? Was it a nightmare?" He questioned and his heart sank when he felt his shirt began to soak.

"I-I should be grateful..." Tatsumi quietly listened, slightly confused. "They took us in. Gave us a place to stay. Made a whole dinner. M-my own mother welcomed me after what I did..."

"Lubba-"

"But I'm not!" Lubbock sobbed into his shirt. "I'm so fucking selfish! And for them to forgive me so easily, they shouldn't have! All I feel is guilt and it hurts to sleep knowing they're okay with this!"

Having Lubbock rant like this even made Tatsumi's eyes water, but he stayed strong for him. His hand continued to rub his friend's back, quivering from his tremulous breathing. His other hand stroked Lubbock's silk green hair.

"Then what will make you feel better?" He asked calmly and Lubbock looked up with a tear-stricken face.

"I don't know!" He cried. Tatsumi desperately wanted to sacrifice the whole world in order to cheer up his friend.

"Well..." Tatsumi moved his hands up in favor of wiping the tears off of Lubbock's face. "I know it must be hard to accept that they are capable of tolerating everything. If I were in your position, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself so easily either, not to make you feel bad. However..."

As though there was a force pulling between them, Tatsumi lightly pressed their foreheads together. He wanted to make his statement clear. "It's never too late to forgive yourself. I think you're just having a difficult time acknowledging your mistake. But think about this, haven't your last several years been partially dedicated to creating a better continent? You can't beat yourself up forever. Eventually, you'll understand why they wouldn't give a damn if you even came back after twenty years." He said with a soft smile.