Epic Love (Triangle)

Untitled Part 22

It was more or less like that again the next day.

And the next. And the next after that.

I didn't particularly relish the idea of having Peter as my teacher, so I hung my head as low as possible in his class, hoping against hope that he'd stop calling me in recitations. But Peter had a different idea. He'd call my name first thing everyday on the roll call, to think that I wasn't even the first in the alphabetical list.

"Shanni, we have to talk."

I raised my head, raised one eyebrow and stopped from writing when Marcus planted himself in front of me, the usual boyish face serious for once. And I could only glare at him because the boy was making a scene, kahit pa it's still ten minutes before the start of Peter's class and Peter was already by his desk, scribbling heaven knows what.

"You sit down muna, pwede?" I hissed at him.

"No." Marcus' voice boomed inside the room and the few students who were already there turned to look at us. I didn't have to crane my neck to see if Peter was looking too. The tingling in my spine said that much.

"No what?"

"Not until you tell me why you filed for dropping earlier today, with an alibi that you're shifting schools."

"Marcus!" my whisper came out as a shocked squeal. I looked at him with wide eyes, afraid that Peter had heard. I snuck a glance at the table on the front. Peter's face was impassive but he was looking at me. Directly.

I squirmed.

"Tell me," Marcus insisted.

"What do I have to tell you ba?" I was almost pleading in my eyes that Marcus be civil naman, I was getting looks from Peter that I couldn't ignore. My hands had started sweating.

"You're not dropping, Shanni." There was almost a sound of threat in Marcus' voice. The other students were now eyeing us speculatively.

"Marcus naman, you know I can't stay here." I was whispering but I really felt like shouting. How dare Marcus scold me in so public a place as this? My heart was racing, sure that Peter was looking and listening.

"You have me, Shan. Whatever it is that you think you can't take anymore let me handle that. Just don't make decisions when clearly you're not in the right mind to take care of yourself." Marcus spat the words looking so self-righteous I wanted to cry.

"Tanga ba 'ko?" I hissed. "Don't I know how to decide for myself?" I shook my head, and without a backward glance at Marcus, I turned away. Nearing Peter's table, I saw him looking at me, and then I hissed, "I've dropped this subject, too. I'm out of here."

I didn't wait for his reaction.

There's no reason why I should anyway.

Peter

" - I'm giving a quiz tomorrow," I intoned without a hint of emotion (I hope), long after Shanni's famous walk-out.

Try as I might, I knew I'd never be able to dismiss it from my thoughts. Hell, I was unable to dismiss her from my thoughts since day 1, and this is no different. But still, Shanni's last words as she passed me by sliced thru my head again and occupied it for some time until I realized the students are long gone and I was alone in the room.

I shook my head.

She was angry, but then I was expecting it, yet I was unprepared for her anger's actual impact on me. I felt miserable. I was miserable. I craned my neck to the direction she had gone but stopped even before my feet could drag me to follow her and track her down. It was useless anyway. She was probably calling me names on Marcus' shoulders.

That thought brought another pain in my gut.

I went out the class room, went to the parking lot, looking for Marcus' car as thoughts assailed me like a jumbled mass once more. I didn't know how I could stay away from her when my body wanted to get close, how I managed to dismiss her when she was almost like oxygen to my lungs.

But jealousy (okay, now I admit it) can do strange things to a man.

I felt I was punched on the chest that day, when after days not seeing her and attending to our family business, I went back only to find her hugging Marcus by the parking lot, and my mind went red with jealous rage I wanted to tear her away from Marcus and beat the kid.

They looked so damned good to each other I was insecure for the first time in my life.

And so I assumed a cold demeanor that brought a cloud on her eyes, but tore at me more because I just so damned missed her.

Meeting Shanni at Java's seemed to have bewitched me until she was all I could think about, and at first my guilt pushed me to show nothing more than a friend should, showering Lily with anything I was capable of giving. But deluding myself was never my style. I've always been bloody honest. And somehow Lily sensed it.

She made parting ways easier for me.

I've always been comfortable with Lily, but with Shanni I was tensed, aware of her every move, anticipating the emotions that would flicker in her eyes. I hadn't known how kissing could affect me so much, until she kissed me back. And yet I still couldn't get enough. It infuriated me that being close to another came so easily, so effectively to her. My jealousy was raw. Primitive. I wanted to haul her and lock her in my room for heaven knows how long. I didn't know I was capable of feeling this intense, until her intense gaze locked on me that first day.

But I had hurt her. She must be anywhere right now, and I felt my stupidity come back to me in full force, as I feared for her safety. The growing dusk seemed to sympathize with the emptiness in my chest. The silence in the parking lot echoed the hollowness I didn't know I was capable of feeling.

I couldn't bear it. I was so bloody in need of her. If there was one thing I still don't understand, it was how I managed to live all the years of my life without her...

Shanni

Don't be a loser. If you are a loser, at least don't show you really are. Leave some clue to those who matter that you have something special in you after all.

Like duh.

I didn't know where I was going when I stepped out of Peter's class. I passed by dark corridors, empty classrooms, then headed out the campus gates. I was half-running as I passed by the streets in a sort of trance. Aimless. I didn't know where to go. Didn't even want to think. For hours I walked and circled the busy streets, thankful I wasn't hit by a car, thankful that none of the bystanders bothered me in my little private hell.

I reached the disco hall Lily used to frequent.

At six in the afternoon.

And after an hour, I already have three shots of tequila.