Epic Love (Triangle)

Chapter 11

Peter

"Whoo! More! More!"

I frowned and drank the beer bottom's up, while Lily shouted to the kissing couple downstairs. For a full minute I felt and thought that I was alone, and the world was only now coming into perspective.

I was angry with myself. No, disgusted. My relationship with Lily was just like anything that was expected in my life. We never quarreled for long, and aside from her usual quirkiness, I was satisfied with the way she cared for me. It was almost inevitable that we'd end up married sooner or later.

I couldn't see myself married now. At least, not yet. I have so much going on in my life right now to be permanently shackled with a wife and a baby. My parents, though I adored them, were not exactly perfect especially in my growing-up years. I've seen too many fights, heard too many shouts as accusations of negligence and infidelity flashed back and forth.

With Lily still happy in our present status, bachelorhood was all-convenient for me.

But Marcus and Shanni were different.

I've known Shanni too much too soon to realize that the girl wanted romance in the real sense. She looked like someone whose head was permanently in the clouds. Someone who'd cry "I do" at the first sight of a ring. She was so naïve. So trusting.

And Marcus was tipping the scales with his good-boy image, plus the kissing downstairs that made the two looked oddly good for each other. Shanni's long hair, closed eyes, and hands clutching at Marcus, who was kissing her fervently, his hands on her back. They would be great with each other, no doubt, if that kiss was any indication.

I exhaled a pent-up breath. So why am I miserable?

Shanni

Lily had a satisfied smile on her face when I went back to my room.

"Did someone had a kissing match downstairs?" she teased. I laughed nervously, not daring to look at Peter for reasons I couldn't even understand. I just knew I couldn't look him in the eye.

"I'd give it a ten," she added playfully.

I laughed self-consciously. "Seven lang."

"Shanni baby, bakit naman patatagalin pa? Marcus is the quintessential boyfriend. Sige ka. You might find him taken up when you get back from Japan." Lily was downing another can of beer as she lay on her stomach on my bed.

Peter was on the bed, too in the same position as Lily's. But so far, he hadn't commented on anything.

Me, on the rug by the floor. "I like the guy naman. I just couldn't say yes and leave him dangling for two months. Kawawa naman siya. We'd squander our allowance on long distance calls."

"Skype, hello? And Facebook calls. How expensive could they be?" Lily's words were slurring, proof she was near-intoxication. "He's a romantic, Shan. You don't get the kind nowadays." And so Lily snuggled close to Peter, her lips finding his, and I had to smile amused at this display of affection.

Sanay na 'ko. It was like being in the company of Romeo and Juliet. And though I envied them sometimes, I knew it wasn't in me to follow in their steps so soon. A steady couple? No, no. Not in the near future, although I kept my friends' hopes up by saying I'd go steady with Marcus after summer's ended. I still feel naïve most of the time, lost almost every day ('Nyeta! show me nga someone who memorized all those corridors!), nerdy at class, and the pitiful rich-kid-with-no-money-of-her-own.

If anything, this semester taught me that the journey wasn't easier because of the light in Peter's eyes, or the attention showered by Lily. Not even in the straight 1.5s I got in all my minor subjects, and the tres I got in my majors. Especially not on that one time Mom loaned me her credit card, or Dad's gift to me of a string guitar accompanied by a note that said 'just because you're my daughter' (the guitar now in his room, used by him, need you ask?) But, in my acceptance that my failures as a girl and a student and a daughter are actually challenges to make myself better, more understanding of the world, more forgiving of my parents and myself.

And so I stopped chastising myself for my perpetual blush, or my clumsiness. Or my undying admiration for Peter and Lily.

I survived this sem, hadn't I? I could survive the coming ones, too.

Tulad nga ng sabi ni Alexander the Great, Audacius Fortuna Iuvat.

Fortune favors the Brave!