Blood Wolf

17: Are you trying to kill me?

“Pick up!”

I screamed into the small device. I couldn’t link with the pack so I was left using the stupid mobile Ryker had left for me if I needed him. Though I had yet to use it, he was nearly always with me or close by so I didn’t have to. So, of course, with my luck the one time I really needed him, he wasn’t close by…or picking up.

“Dammit!”

“Luna?”

Cordy poked her head into the room. I wasn’t too surprised, seeing as I was yelling at inanimate objects.

“Sorry, I’m trying to call Ryker but he isn’t picking up.”

I said holding the stupid mobile out for her to see. Irritation raced through me as my confidence lowered. Was this a sign? Maybe I shouldn’t be pushing this, maybe John was right, maybe I needed to take more time.

Anymore time and you’ll never do it. My subconscious screamed at me. It was true, I was more than comfortable with Ryker in all other areas, if I allowed this comfortable stage to continue I would never work up the nerve to make a move. And with Ryker being the sweet man that he is, he would never push me.

I had learned over the last four months that he was true to his word. Whenever our kisses would get a bit heated, he would pull back. Content to just hold me and whisper words of love. I had gotten used to it, gotten use to the constant burn between my thighs that only Ryker could bring. I’m sure he had gotten use to the endless cold showers I knew he was taking.

It was time to move on fully, letting go of that last barrier in our relationship. I never knew what it was to be sexually frustrated until he came into my life. Though I would never voice it, it was the one area I was embarrassed to talk about. The only area I was shy in.

“You want me to call him, Luna?”

Cordy asked. I thought about it for a moment, the little light bulb in my head going off. I could trust her, confide in her…she could help me in this area. She was marked and fully mated. She was also so loyal to me, the affection she showered on me was unbelievable.

I loved all of the pack but with her it was different, since the moment I came she was right by my side. That hadn’t change at all. She became like a sister to me.

“No…not right now. I-I have a favor to ask.”

True to her nature, she grinned and bounced over to the bed. Settling in before she beckoned me over.

“Sure thing, Luna! What’s up?”

Her excitement barely contained as I made my way to the king sized bed.

“I think I’m finally ready to mate with Ryker.”

The normally talkative and eager Cordelia was apparently taking a break at the moment. As I only got the shocked, jaw to the floor, wide eyed Cordy. I figured I’d give her a few minutes to take in my words but after two I was getting anxious.

“Cordy?”

I drawled, shaking her slightly. She finally blinked, opening and closing her mouth like a dying fish. Finally she composed herself enough to speak.

“Luna, are you sure? You know he’ll wait! No need to rush these things.”

Though she knew some of what happened, only Ryker and John knew the full extent, so for her to show so much concern about the matter warmed me. Though I wasn’t sure why she would be worried, I thought she would be the one to give me that extra push I needed.

“I’m sure. I need to get over my past, Cordy. Ryker can help me do that. Plus…I feel kind of bad….I know he holds back so much for me. I just want to know what a normal relationship feels like, I want to know what it’s like to be with the person you love…in that way.”