Blood Wolf

14: You. Are. Worth. Everything.

“Why can’t I sleep with you mummy?”

Tristian’s teary eyes breaking my heart as I tucked him into bed. He had become use to crawling into bed with me and Ryker. Sleeping comfortably between the two of us. I didn’t mind, I loved the feeling of having them both there with me.

I knew though that sooner or later he would have to start sleeping in his room again. As much as I knew Ryker was different from some of the other men I had come in contact with, I knew deep down he would eventually want some sort of payment for letting me stay.

The nagging voice in my head telling me I was wrong as his words from earlier re-played in my mind.

“If I have to die a virgin, I will, if it makes you happy.”

The thought bringing a smile to my lips. Even through the shame of knowing I wasn’t good enough for him, pure enough, he had a right to know how used and broken I was. I was nearly positive he wouldn’t want me after but I couldn’t deny him. I had come to see that I would do anything he asked without hesitation.

Part of me was angered by that but a much greater part of me basked in the idea. In no more than a weeks’ time him and this little bundle of happiness in front of me had changed my whole world. I wasn’t the same hard ass that would swing first and ask questions later, my sarcastic and rude manner had changed into something more loving and caring.

Even with the members of the pack, I found I didn’t want to snap at them, instead I had a need to listen, to comfort when need be, and to open my heart to them. I wasn’t sure how they did it but they all made me believe I was someone worth their attention, love, and respect. Even though I knew that wasn’t the case.

“Mummy?”

“I’m sorry baby, I need to talk to your dad and I don’t want you staying up late to wait for us to go to bed. Plus, you’re my big boy, and big boys sleep in their own room.”

I gave him a warm smile as I leaned down to kiss his forehead. A shiny glint caught my eye as I looked at the rosary he had tucked in to his shirt. Grinning, I kissed him again and pulled it out and placed it on top of the material.

“What if I get scared?”

Chuckling, I ran my fingers over it.

“As long as you wear this, you’ll be fine and safe. I know you don’t believe in Him because you have your Goddess, but you don’t have to. Just believe in me and know that I will do anything to keep you safe.”

It was true, I would move heaven and earth for this little boy and kill anyone or anything that threaten to hurt him.

Giving him one last kiss, I got up and dimmed the lamp on his dresser. I was just about to close the door when he whispered.

“Goodnight, I love you mummy.”

My heart stopped. I spun to look at him, only to see a lop-sided smile on his angelic face, his breathing even and heavy. He was asleep. I closed the door and made my way to Ryker’s office. There were things to discuss before I allowed myself to fully let go and let myself love them both.

“Ryker? Can I have a moment?”

I asked as I peeked in through the door. Looking up from the pile of papers in his hands, he smiled and nodded. Taking a deep breath I walked in. Remembering the small pep talk I had with myself on my way here.

I had become accustomed to shutting down my emotions, to block out pain and so help me, I did it again. I became the lifeless person I had been for most of my life, tears and sobs were a sign of weakness and I wouldn’t allow anyone to see me weak like that. Not even Ryker. Especially not Ryker.