30. The end.

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30.

Jai's POV

Luke dragged me to the record store and picked up a cd, "Luke what are you doing? Haven't you heard of downloads?" I laughed as he rifled through cd's but he didn't laugh back. He carried on flicking through them, row after row until finally he picked out a small case. "Found it!" He exclaimed, and handed it to me, he flicked through a few more rows until he picked out another one and took the other from my hand. "Fleet foxes and The Maccabees?" I asked, looking at the cases. Why did Luke want cd's? "Saskia keeps saying she wants them, the fleet foxes are all she listens to but she wanted the discs to keep." He explained. I touched his shoulder lightly, and sighed, "don't waste your money bro." I said and he spun around so quickly I almost lost my balance.

"It's not a waste, it's for Sass." He said, snapping at me slightly and heading towards the counter. "Luke-" I began before he rubbed his head vigorously and interrupted me, "don't say it Jai!" He snarled and continued to join the back of the queue, "but Luke, you need t-" he stopped me again before I could carry on with the rest of my sentence, "I wouldn't expect you to understand." He said a hint of hatred in his voice. At that moment I snapped, I was fed up of Luke's attitude, "don't understand?! Saskia was my best friend, I cared about her, I fucking miss her Luke but she's gone. She's not coming back, you're the one that doesn't understand!" I yelled, the people surrounding us in the queue stared as Luke fell to the floor, sobbing into his chest.

I helped him up and he clung to me tightly, crying into my shoulder. "I'm sorry Luke, I didn't mean to, just buy them and we'll keep them in the car, to remind us of her?" I suggested, but he placed them on the rack opposite the queue and walked out if the shop. I followed but he had somehow disappeared from my sight, I needed Beau. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled Luke's number first, no answer of course, I then dialled Beau's.

Beau: sup bro?

Jai: Luke's had another break down and I can't find him.

Beau: fuck, what happened?

Jai: he just doesn't realise she's gone yet, he can't let himself believe it and when I reminded him he broke down, crying and shit. Next minute he's gone.

Beau: have you phoned him?

Jai: fuck why didn't I think of that? Of course I've phoned him!

Beau: calm down! I'll come help you, just meet me by the fountain?

Jai; thanks bro.

I hung up and headed towards the fountain in the middle of the shopping centre, two minutes later Beau, Daniel and James appeared. "Any sign?" James asked, I shook my head, I had been hoping they'd seen him. "Where would he go?" Daniel asked, racking his brains for places. Luke had quit his job and barely left the house these days so there weren't many options. "I have an idea, you guys stick around here I need to get something first." I replied, running back up the escalators. I went back into the record store, found the CDs exactly where Luke had left them and queued up. Luke wasn't himself anymore, I had to do everything I could to make him feel better. "That'll be 13.98 please?" The woman at the counter broke my thoughts of Luke, I handed over $15 and was soon handed my change and a small bag.

I sprinted back down to the fountain, Daniel had stripped down to his boxers and proceeded to climb into the fountain, Beau was doubled up laughing and James was filming it on his iPhone. I decided to leave them to it and find Luke myself. There was only one place he would be. I began walking, Beau had the car keys, which annoyed me as I wanted to get to my twin as quickly as I could, it would only take ten minutes to walk, but ten minutes made a big difference. I turned right, spotting the metal gates at the end of the path and began sprinting again. The gates were opened and as I slid around them a sudden silence met me, along with a slight shiver down my back.

The wind was bitter and it whistled loudly through the trees, blowing crisp, red leaves into my face. "Luke?" I called out, an echo calling his name back at me. I turned a few corners until I found the spot, and there Luke was kneeling on the floor talking softly. "They just don't understand." He whispered as I approached. I touched him gently on the shoulder, making him jump and he looked round at me, sighing. His eyes were blood shot and blotchy, he'd been crying again. I sat down with him and stared at the stone in front of me. 'R.I.P Saskia Sophia Beadle, always on our minds, forever in our hearts. 1995-2013' i hadn't been here since the funeral, she was my best friend, I couldn't do it. Luke came three, some times four times a week, as I read the stone over and over tears began falling from my eyes.

"Why did she do it Jai? What made her take her own life?" Luke sobbed, "I miss her, I need her back. Nothing's the same." He continued, breaking down into floods of tears. I hugged him tightly as he cried into my shoulder, "I don't know Luke, I miss her too." I cried into his shoulder. Around her grave sat bunches of flowers, it was the year anniversary of her death, people had left cards, stuffed toys and Luke had written her a letter. I could see the envelope with his writing sitting behind a pink rabbit. "I brought these for you." I sniffed, handing him the bag and he opened it slowly, his eyes tearing up again. "Thank you." He hugged me again and ripped the plastic film off. He took the disks out of the cases and slipped them into the envelope. "I love you Sass, always. I'll be back soon." He wiped his eyes and stood up, brushing the grass from his knees.

"Take me home Jai?" He asked, looking more broken than he'd been when mum had to tell him what had happened. "Sure?" I asked him, not convinced that he'd finished saying all he had to say. "Sure." He mumbled back and began walking towards the metal gates. "Sleep tight sass, love you." I whispered before following him. Luke waited for me and for some reason held out his hand, I took it in mine and we walked slowly together. "Thank you Jai, I don't know what of have done without you." He whispered, starring directly in front of him. I smiled and looked at him as he continued to stare, "you're my brother, I'd be lost without you." I replied and he smiled slightly, letting go of my hand and wrapping his arms around himself. "She's always going to be here really, she's always going to be part of us." He whispered, looking back one last time before entering the busy streets of Melbourne.

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