Love to Hate You

Chapter Thirteen

Austin sits next to me while Sean inhabits the seat facing me in the cafeteria. Sean taps his fingers on the surface of the table, randomly sighing here and there while staring at his food. Austin thinks I don’t notice it, but he keeps snatching chips from my tray. I sit with my head in my hand bouncing my leg. I have never really sat in the cafeteria before, but Sean and Austin insisted that I should today. I think it’s because they didn’t want to look like loners.

“So, this sucks.” Sean grumbles. He pushes his tray away and crosses his arms on the table.

“Yeah, look at them. They act as if nothing happened.” Austin groans. I follow his eyes across the room to Justin, Alex, and Kris, who sit at their own table laughing and talking.

I sigh and slump my shoulders down further.

“They’re pretending.” I say, though I’m not really sure. I’m not really good at comforting people.

Austin’s eyes tear away from the boys across the room and he shakes his head.

“No, they’re not.” He frowns and rests his head on the table.

Sean looks over his shoulder and then looks at me.

“Do you think they are continuing on with the band without us?” he asks, the corners of his mouth turn downward questioningly.

I shrug and eye up the guitar pick necklace he’s wearing. It’s different from Justin’s and has his name written across it in gold. I notice his fingers have come up to fiddle with it as he looks over his shoulder once more.

“They have everyone they need to keep the band going. They’ve got a drummer, guitarist, and singer. I’m sure they aren’t quitting.” I tell him.

It’s unsympathetic but I feel like having the truth out there would benefit them more than if I told them a lie. Austin’s head shoots up. Sean and I are both caught off guard and jump slightly.

“Well, then why should we stop?” he asks, with a raised eyebrow.

“We can’t have a band without Alex, stupid. We can make it without Kris, but not Alex.” Sean objects with a roll of his eyes.

My eyes widen slightly as my head turns to Austin’s scowling features. Great Sean, you just had to say that, didn’t you.

“We can make it. You don’t need drums to be a band, okay? And Kris is still our friend, so lay off.” Austin snaps and sinks down further into his seat while crossing his arms.

Sean narrows his eyes at him through his glasses and huffs.

“Can we not fight, okay?” I beg while popping a chip into my mouth and munching on it thoughtfully.

My eyes find their way back to Justin’s table and I frown. His dark hair is gelled slightly, giving it a wet look and he wears a wide smile as he laughs at something one of the boys have said. How could he be so happy? Just yesterday he was fuming and kicking me out. Why did he kick me out? He’s the one who was practically begging on his knees for me to join and now he kicks me out?

He ruined it. He did it himself. He threw himself at me. Did he really think I’d kiss him back? We were arguing, spilling out our guts about how much we hate each other. To top it off, he had just been with a girl. Does he think I’m stupid?

I realize I’ve crushed the potato chip I’ve been holding into crumbs and whip my hands on my jeans, still glaring at the smiling face. Austin’s voice brings me out of my thoughts and I break eye contact to look at him instead.

“I think we could do it, guys.” He mutters while sloppily spooning his soup out of his bowl and letting the broth splash back down into the dish.