You Don't Know You The Way I Do- A Team Starkid Fanfiction

Chapter 2.7

Well well well, back again I see? Thank God some of you guys do come back, or else there would be no more reason to write this story. You guys are awesome, just throwing that out there.

So this part will be coming to an end within either three or four more chapters; I haven't decided whether I want to break this one part up into two smaller parts or just one big fat old helping of feels. But regardless, next is the Lauren/Dylan part!

This part is a reoccurring one, from when Eli and Joe went to Meredith and Denise's house. You know, the one where Eli found Lauren crying in a room, and overheard Joe and Dylan fighting, but despite all the cryptic warnings, for some odd reason, still told Joe she loved him for the first time? Yeah, now that I think about that, maybe it wasn't the best logical chain of events...

Fuck it. Here we go.

CHAPTER 2.7- NOAH'S POV:

In need something inside of me right now. Something that will dull this overwhelming pain I feel. I can't stand it anymore, it's all I think about.

It's the anniversary week of my father's death, and I need alcohol.

All of those events that never happened seem to pop into my brain. He never taught me how to fix a tire, or gave me that pat on the back after graduation. He won't be there on my wedding, and he won't walk Eli down the aisle on hers. All I have left of him is some legal documents and an old radio he used to be obsessed with.

I almost downed an entire beer in one gulp. I heard the talk all around me, but it never penetrated my ears. I was in my own little dome of self-grief, and I was okay with it.

But of course, Jaime Lyn insisted I needed to "get out of the house this week", so she took me to some party her friends were hosting, whose names I couldn't bother to remember. And I didn't care about their names either. In fact, I didn't care about anything this week. And I didn't want to care about anything.

"You know you can't just sulk in their kitchen this entire night?" came a voice from beside me. I looked down to Jaime Lyn, who was staring up at me cautiously.

"Can't I?" I asked sarcastically. I didn't care that I was being the worst friend and a huge jerk to her this week, but I honestly couldn't help it. I opened another bottle of beer as she talked.

"Look, Noah, I know I shouldn't be the one to say this because I have absolutely no idea what exactly you're going through, but drinking is not the answer. You can't just mask these feelings with alcohol, what will it do to you? Only numb you until you sincerely feel the pain. Live in the moment, and try not to think about it so much." She placed her hand on my arm, but I shook it off.

"You're right! You shouldn't be the one to tell me this because you have no fucking idea how I feel!" I almost yelled, storming away.

"My good friend died in high school. She was killed in a gang-bang," Jaime Lyn said quietly in my wake. I stopped. God, I am such an asshole! All she's trying to do is help me, but I'm pushing her away in my own way of coping. I turned around and placed both hands on either shoulder of hers.

"I'm so sorry Jaime Lyn. You just need to understand that this is a really rough time. I'm the biggest asshole in the world." She smiled at her feet in that way that always made my heart skip a beat. "Hey," I said, pinching her nose, "I still love you."

I said that, knowing she thought it was in a friendly way. But it was a realization for me, in that kitchen of that girl who doesn't even matter. I do love Jaime Lyn. Not just in the way like oh-my-god-you're-such-a-good-person, but in the way like hey-you're-seriously-beautiful-and-I-love-you. I had the biggest impulse to kiss her, but unlike other times, it wasn't just a flash. The feeling pounded in my chest for about a minute. A minute of pure fighting against my own will.