*2 weeks later*
“So I was thinking that we need to go shopping for baby clothes.”
“I have four and a half months to go, chill.”
“I like to think ahead.”
I rolled my eyes at Ally, giving her a two fingered wave and walked in the opposite direction.
See, since I told her she’s gotten clingy and I’ve had to cancel on Justin a lot lately. I hope he wasn’t too mad, but he’d understand, right? Ally wanted me to start going ‘baby shopping’ with her but to tell you the truth; I didn’t have enough money to do so.
The one thing I let slip my mind for the past four and a half months was the fact that I had no money for the baby. How was I supposed to be a mother without money? I couldn’t risk my baby being taken away from me. I just couldn’t bear with the thought.
I slipped out my iphone, sliding my fingers over the keys, dialling Justin’s number.
“Hey Sasha...what do you need?”
“What do I need?” I questioned slowly, confused by the way he answered the phone.
“Yeah, do you and Ally need something?” He replied in a tone I haven’t heard much before.
“What are you going on about, Justin?”
“Confused? Maybe your best friend Ally can help you.”
“What the fuck Justin?!”
“You want to know what I’m talking about?”
“Yes, I really would.” I replied stubbornly.
He has never acted this way before with me. Tears threatened to escape my eyes but I blinked them away. He always gave me an explanation if something was wrong, what changed? I just couldn’t understand why he would be angry with me.
How the hell didn’t she realise? She’s been killing me these past 2 weeks cancelling on me all the time for Ally. I get they are best friends, I respect that. But I want to spend time with her...
Just me and her.
When she doesn’t cancel on me, Ally tags along and Sasha just shrugs her shoulders at me. I never really liked Ally either, she’s the clingy type and I hate that.
I gritted my teeth together as she waited for her reply silently over the phone. I was scared to hurt her like this but I needed to get if off my chest. I couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“Since you told Ally she’s been clingy. You cancel on me, and when you go through with it, she tags along. I want to see you! Just you! When you have called me, it’s to ask me something, not to ask how I am and when our next date is. Just a stupid question. I miss you and I knew I said I wouldn’t leave you but-” I stopped, not wanting to speak anymore.
“But what? What Justin? Say what’s on your mind.”
“Tell me.” She ordered in a devilish tone.
“You’re making me consider leaving you!” I yelled, instantly regretting it.
“Okay.” I could tell she had a smirk on her face as she spoke, “Bye Justin. It was nice knowing you, it really was. You know what? I TRUSTED you.”
And with that the line went dead. I collapsed to the fall, pulling my knees to my chest and burying my face between them. I never cried, but right now, this was all I could do. I felt weak, lost...
I lost Sasha.
I lost my baby.
I sat up and observed my tear stained pillow. I couldn’t believe I made him finish that. I was stupid and now I lost him. He stopped, knowing very well he didn’t mean to and I forced it out of him. I ruined everything. I sobbed and looked down at my stomach.
“I’m sorry, baby.” I whispered.
A tear slipped down my face, hitting my stomach which caused me to start balling my eyes out again.
I knew I shouldn’t have dated Justin. My rule was right and I was going back to it. Trust Issues protected me from this and getting rid of them was like removing my shield in the middle of combat.
My phone buzzed and I looked down at it, noticing one new message from Ally.
‘Want to hang out today? If you have plans cancel them.’
I threw my phone across the room, hitting my pillow safely but aggressively.
Why me? Why am I the one always hurting? Why?
I held my resume tightly in my hand, waiting in line with other customers. I got a few weird stares as people noticed my stomach. I could no longer hide it, it was growing and it was an obvious ‘baby bump.’ I convinced mum to let me stay home for the last two weeks as ‘sick,’ but she’s making me face school tomorrow. So to keep my mind off that, I decided to get a job at a local boutique. I needed the money to care for my baby, especially now that Justin was no longer in the picture.