Chapter 17

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     *2 weeks later*

“So when are you going to tell your mum?” Justin asked, causing me to gulp.
“I-I don’t know.”
“Are you worried about what she’ll think?”
I nodded, “I’d probably get thrown out of the house or something.”
“That’s horrible.” Justin said, wide eyed.

I shrugged, continuing to swing back and forth. This park has become a popular spot for me and Justin to hang out and talk about anything and everything. Right now, he’s my best friend. Ally and I haven’t exactly been as close as before since the incident 2 weeks ago. It’s not like it was a big fight or anything, thing just aren’t the same anymore. Maybe things will sort themselves out soon enough, when I’m ready to tell her about my pregnancy.

I stared down at the promise ring, smiling to myself as it sparkled in the sunlight. Another thought came to my mind and I looked up at Justin. He too was looking at his promise ring.

“Have you told your family?” I asked.
He looked up, “Told them what?”
“That you got me pregnant?”
He frowned, looking at his feet. “No.”
“Well what’s your excuse?”
“Nervous. See, the same thing happened with my parents and then they split up. I’m scared that I’m going to make the same mistake for our kid.”

I sat there thinking about what he had said. He was right though, Justin and I aren’t together. That means our child will be from a broken family, they’d be an accident...

“But, we have never dated so...”
“Yeah.”
“I’m such a slut.” I whispered, an unwanted tear slipping down my cheek.

Justin quickly jumped off the swing, landing on the ground and rushing to me. He cupped my face with his hands, his thumbs wiping away the loose tears. He wrapped me in a hug before pulling back, his eyes staring deep into mine.

“You are far from a Slut.” He smiled, “Besides, sluts don’t have trust issues.”
“Yes they can. That’s why they’re so insecure and don’t respect themselves...”
He chuckled, “But you’d never make out with guys you barely know...would you?”
“I did that with you...” I whispered; another tear escaping.
“You knew me. You already made up your mind you hated me and the alcohol made you do actions you obviously regret.”
“I don’t regret anything.” I said loudly, not thinking before it slipped from my mouth, causing his eyes to widen.

His hands moved from my face and to my shoulders, gripping them as his eyes stared at me with shock. I shouldn’t have said that, I wasn’t even thinking it! Maybe it was my conscious, because I never recalled that thought. Ever.

“Y-You don’t regret it?”
I half smiled. “No. If I were to make this mistake with anyone, I’m actually glad it was you.”

I watched carefully as his eyes closed slowly, barely peering through his eyelashes. He moved in closer and I knew what he was doing. I hadn’t kissed him since that day on the hill, we had just remained friends. He hadn’t tried anything either, he had just focused on our friendship and getting rid of my trust issues. It was working too, but it was a slow process.

I leaned in too, wanting nothing but to feel his soft lips pressed against mine. The kisses never really meant anything, just when we have these moments, it’s like these feelings come out of nowhere and I want to kiss him back. A smile tugged on the ends of his lips as he realised I was also leaning in.

I felt his breath on me; it was steady, smelling like mint as usual. Our lips slowly touched; the feeling indescribable. The kiss didn’t last too long, as I decided to pull away, not wanting to get carried away. He smiled; his eyes boring back into mine.

“Is it weird that I kiss my best friend?” I mumbled.
He smirked, “I’m your best friend, am I?”
I nodded, “Obviously. You’re all I hang around...”
“You don’t hang with me at school...”
“I don’t want people getting suspicious. That’s how rumours start.”
He frowned, “I hate watching you eat alone though.”
“I don’t mind.” I chuckled, “I’ll just talk to my salad.”
“You’re a loser.”
“I know.” I laughed, nudging him.

***

There were two things that had been permanently lodged in my brain lately. One; I was pregnant and I had no idea how I was going to break the news to everyone. Two; I kept kissing my best friend.

Kissing my best friend wasn’t normal, I knew that. Nobody else did that unless they were doing ‘friends with benefits,’ but that wasn’t exactly my situation. I don’t think that includes, having trust issues, being pregnant and becoming friends with someone you hate who has a huge crush on you. No, I didn’t like him back, did I?

Also this pregnancy was freaking me out. In eight months I was actually going to have birth to a small child who I will have to take care of for the next eighteen years. I’m not even eighteen myself yet! I didn’t think my mum was going to be happy about it either. I was scared she was going to give up on me and kick me out of the house or something. I knew once I told Ally she’d freak out, then get excited and then understand and help me through it. But who knew how long each of those stages would take. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, not for a little while longer anyway. Long enough for my mum not to force me to have an abortion. Because all in all, I actually, secretly, wanted this child. 


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