Three Months { BELLARKE }

Salt and Boardwalks

An: Hiii ! So you guys probably hate me ! I'm back from hiding for like a month?? I don't know but anyway I just want to say in sorry and I'll try to update more often,,, So this season finale aired on Thursday how was amazing was it ? BELLARKE !! That's all I'm saying and without further ado please enjoy
[ this is a sad chapter ] I'm sorry !

On February 15th, just as she was about to fall into bed after a long shift at the hospital, Clarke received a text from Octavia.

'Don't kno if Bell has told you (probably not bc you 2 are idiots) but tomorrow is a tough day for us. My mom died on the 16th ten years ago. Ill be by in the morning we always go to the cemetery and then the lake. Just so you kno.'

After replying with a short, 'Ok, I'm really sorry. I'm here if you need me,' Clarke lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She wanted to go talk to Bellamy, go do something to distract him from his thoughts or just be there fore him, but she wasn't sure if they were close enough to still do that sort of thing. With a heavy sigh, she flung her hand over her eyes as her thoughts drifted to her father. Bellamy had been there for her on November 12 when she marked the anniversary of losing a parent, it didn't seem right for her to be absent when he went through the same grief. Yanking the blanket up over herself, Clarke resolved to be there for Bellamy tomorrow. No matter how distant they had gotten over the past month, it wasn't right to leave him high and dry on a day like that.

When she got up the next morning Bellamy was already gone. Clarke sat at the kitchen table eating her cheerios and wondering if Aurora Blake had sat at the same table once. She didn't know a lot about the woman that raised Bellamy and Octavia, only the bits and pieces Bellamy and Octavia had shared and her own inferences from things around the house.

She did know what Aurora had done in order to feed her two kids, but also that she managed to work herself out of it by working as a seamstress at a local dry cleaners a few years after Octavia was born. She knew Aurora loved flowers, liked cheap, touristy paintings of beaches (they were all over the house), floral patterns, and Jane Austen novels. Most of all, Clarke knew that her children adored her and that she must have been a wonderful mother, despite the circumstances she had found herself in.

Her phone buzzed on the table, waking Clarke out of her thoughts. It was Lexa.

'Hey babe, since you have the day off want to go into the city? Belated Valentine's lunch on me.'

Clarke stared at the phone for a while and pushed the last few bits of cereal around in her bowl. Slumping back in her chair, she sighed. She didn't feel like doing anything today. Aurora may not have been her mother, she may not have even known her, but some how the woman seemed to be part of Clarke's life. More importantly, Clarke wanted to be there when Bellamy and Octavia got back, just in case they needed someone to talk to.

'No, busy today.'

Clarke frowned at what she had written, her finger hovering over the send button. It seemed harsh and cold in comparison to what Lexa had written, but then again Clarke wasn't sure how she felt about Lexa lately. Yes, she was fun to hang out with and yes the sex was great, but something just didn't feel right. There was a disconnect that Clarke didn't know how to bridge. Not to mention how Lexa seemed way more into Clarke than she was into Lexa. Despite all her lecturing about love being weakness and life being more fun without emotional attachment, Lexa was clearly very attached. With another great sigh Clarke hit send and pushed her chair back, taking her bowl over to the sink.

Walking into the living room, Clarke threw herself onto a couch and stared up at the ceiling. It was just one of those days where everything felt cloudy and tired. She didn't feel like doing anything, not even moving. Her phone buzzed again from where it had fallen on the floor causing Clarke to throw an arm over her eyes. She just didn't want to deal with Lexa. To her annoyance, however, the phone continued to buzz indicating a call rather than a text. Expecting it to be Lexa, Clarke groaned and hit answer without looking at who it was.