Intoxicated

Mistrust in love

Chapter 20★

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Lissy

I knew he has already designated his heart to her, the moment his lips brushed mine and yet I didn't really care.

How narcissistic can I be?

I never really considered myself to be a heart breaker, more of a broken heart in my own self centered way. They always leave me.

But he's different, he didn't place his heart on his sleeve for me, he hid it from my knowledge.

He might aswell of had her name tattooed above his heart for all I could tell from the way he looks at her so longingly, it swamped my thoughts whenever I caught him on the phone with her.

I figured it out when he would never return my phrases of sentimental agreement. "I love you a little." I would whisper, he would rub my shoulder whilst we embraced. But he never returned my gesture.

I used him to make me feel wanted. He used me to fill the hole in his heart with a prosthetic filler. One that couldn't ever be good enough.

"No strings attached?" He proposed the morning after our first bedroom encounter.

"You read my mind."

What can I say the past few months I haven't really been feeling myself and I've fueled my sexual famine, would hate to survive a drought.

I guess the real reason why I didn't stop with him was because he inspired me, I started painting again, I started acting again; I starting being present again. But maybe I just used his energy to refuel mine?

It's a Tuesday night and I'm absolutely rat arsed. Probably shouldn't have stayed behind for cocktails after my improv class, but beggars can't be choosers. I'm ready for some meaningless tumbles with a familiar stranger.

Somehow I'd managed to weave my way back to his apartment, I was drunk.

I was in the mood, what can I say, I'm never one to leave a night without a crescendo to my evening.

I pulsed my fist against his door and perched myself in the hall way, plastered with a stupid grin across my face. I'd sort of missed him a little.

The door was swung open by a tall handsome face, that made me blush at the site of such a charmer. He had this effect of me ever since I saw him flirting with her. I wanted him to share himself with me one last time.

I was already wrapped around him like a second set of skin, before he had even voiced a single word. He smelt so heavenly, I was purring against him seductively.

"Lis what's up? I've got some friends round at the moment.  Did you forget that we broke up or something?" He seemed nervous.

He wasn't as drunk as I was but somehow his words didn't hurt as much as he had intended for them to.

Although he hadn't yet rejected my intimate embrace. Infact he stiffed slightly as I planted kissing across his neck.

I broke my trail of kisses to respond to his question. "I've missed you stranger, have you missed me?" His expression appeared quite blank.