Super Angsty (Deadpool x reader)

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Warning: Language, cuz it's Deadpool

"I just want you to know that this is is no way how I wanted this date to go!" Deadpool yelled down to you as he hung precariously over the ledge of one of the tallest buildings in the city. "I just wanted dinner and awkward, slightly drunken lovin', I swear!"

"Well you sure fucked that up, Wade!"

"I'm sorry! I know, I always do shit like this, I don't know why! Just don't let go of my hand, (Y/N), alright?! I'm gonna get you out of this!" He strained to keep his grip on you, watching you swing slightly in the air over the solid ground so many stories below. "Hey, if I save you, do I still get the lovin'?"

"Oh my god," you whined quietly, turning your head to look down past your feet at the nothingness between you and certain death.

"Stop looking down!"

"Wait, what do you mean, 'if' you save me? You had better save my ass, Wilson! This is all your fault!"

"I meant when! When I save you! Are you really bringing my grammar or lack thereof into this right now? Jesus, (Y/N), you don't know when to pick your battles do you?"

You closed your eyes and tried to focus on the strength in your hand and how it was beginning to wane. If only you had a way to call your father right now, he could fly past and grab you. If only you had listened to him in the first place and realized that getting back together with Wade really was asking for trouble, you wouldn't be in this predicament at all. "Call my dad!"

"Whaaat?! Hell no!" Wade gasped, "I'm not about to call Tony fucking Stark and tell him that I'm hanging his only daughter off the side of a skyscraper! How dumb do you think I am? Wait! Don't answer that!"

"Not as dumb as I am, clearly! I got back with you, didn't I?"

"Hey, that's not cool. I'm doing the best I can here," he stopped, jolting forward slightly when he felt a slip in your fingers. "Don't you dare let go of me, dammit! I'm not going to say goodbye to you again, (Y/N)! If you fall, I'm going with you!"

"You're indestructible, asshole!"

"Oh yeah, that's right," he mumbled to himself, "that's not very reassuring for you, is it?" He reached back with the free hand that was holding him steady on the edge of the roof and grabbed his phone, frantically dialing for help. "Mr. Stark, sir? It's Dead- no, sir. I know it's late, but- yes, I'm with (Y/N), and actually that's why- hey, that's rude, there's no need to be mean."

"Wade! Just cut him off and tell him that I'm about to die!"

There was a long pause and you could hear your dad screaming from the other end of the line as Wade held the phone away from his ear, even over the sounds of the bustling city below. "Oh my god, (Y/N), he heard you. I'm so fucking dead. He's going to kill me." Your hand slipped again just slightly and you winced at the cramping in the muscles now in spasm up your arm. "No! Please don't let go, (Y/N). Come on, don't do that," he struggled, pleading in a much more serious tone. It made you worry for the first time that he wasn't going to be able to do this.

"Is he on the way?"

"Yeah, he's on the way. Just hold on that long, okay? He can do whatever he wants to me, alright? I'll even let you post it all over online, right next to that video of me, my unicorn, that cheap barbeque sauce and the hot pocket. Just hold on."

"For future reference, Wilson," you said with a weak smile for him, knowing that he was in a full-blown panic now, "this isn't the way to win a girl back. Most girls aren't as used to this life as I am."

"There won't be any other girls, (Y/N). You're it. So I'm gonna need you to shut the fuck up about that." He let out a loud grunt, trying to pull you up more but failing. "Listen, I know this story is called 'Super Angsty', but I think the writer is taking this too far. I just wanted a night out with my girl, not this life and death bullshit."

"I can't hold on, Wade!" you yelled to him, finally realizing that your hand was about to release, your muscles growing weak with fatigue. When it gave way, you tried to reach out one last time but to no avail, feeling yourself falling into nothing.

"Fuck!" he hollered, jumping from the roof after you, just as he had promised. You watched him falling with you and trying to reach you desperately, only feeling a glimpse of relief when he did and wrapped himself around you. He twisted his body to position himself to be the one landing first in an attempt to shield you from the impact.

"I love you, (Y/N)! Just in case I'm not as indestructible as we-"

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