he kissed the scars on my skin {janoskians fanfic}

Chapter 25

This is the first time I've been back to dancing in so long, none of the boys wanted me going when I couldn't be trusted to be alone and now they finally trust me again.

It's about half nine, I start at 11 so I have plenty of time to get ready. Even though I didn't have much to do, I wasn't putting on make up or straighten my hair. Going in my leggings and baggy jumper, with my hair up sounds much better.

I wasn't hungry so I didn't have breakfast, or take my anti depressants like Luke told me to do but honestly I don't think I need them.

The house is quiet when everyone is asleep, I kind of like it. It gives me time to think, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but we'll see how it goes.

Beau was the first to wake up out if everyone, he offered to drive me to the studio just before eleven so I didn't have to walk alone. He got himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk and sat down on the opposite sofa to me and we watched tv until everyone else woke up.

Luke and Jai came running through one after the other, they had obviously been arguing and it turned into a bit of a fight. Hitting and kicking each other, Luke ran behind me and used my body to protect his own.

"YOU CAN'T HURT ME IF IM NEAR KATIE YOU MIGHT HURT HER" Luke shouted at Jai.

Jai glared at his twin and made his way through to the kitchen.

Gina and Skye must have been woken by the noise of them arguing because eventually they made their way through just as I was leaving.

I said bye to everyone and luke walked me out to the car.

"Good luck baby" he smiled.

I kissed him on the cheek and got in the car, where beau was waiting. We drove to the studio which was about 15 minutes from the house, parking in front of the building I got out the car and waved as Beau drove away.

I had my dancing bag in my shoulder and bottle of water in the other hand as I took a deep breath and walked in where I was greeted by my boss Carol who I hadn't seen in so long.

"Katie" She smiled.

"Good to have you back, now go through to the studio where the other girls are and we'll get started" she said quite sharp tone.

I dumped my bag in my locker in the changing room and made my way through to where everyone else was. All the girls were crowded in one corner, I felt all their eyes on me as I walked closer to them.

None of the girls really acknowledged me but I could hear them talking about me.

"I heard she tried to kill herself"

"She's a cutter"

"Apparently she is dating Luke Brooks but I highly doubt that"

"She's going to get to warm and take her jumper off and show her scars for attention"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to forget what they were all saying.

Our dance instructor came into the room and we started our routine. After about 2 hours of practising, Jane the instructor handed us all outfits we would wear for this routine.

short sleeved and shorts.

"Oh.. Urm? I can't wear this?" I said quietly.

"And why not?" She snapped.

"It's a personal reason, Carol will tell you"

"We'll it's not up to carol is it, now go and get changed or leave"

I stormed out the room and walked into the changing rooms to collect my bag, all the other dancers were stood in a huddle around the mirror sorting their outfits.

"Oh look Katie, aren't these outfits lovely" one girl smirked.

I chose to ignore her comment and went over to my locker to get my bag, when I opened the door there was a double sided sharpener staring me in the face.

They put that there just to try and be funny, yet they don't understand how triggering that is.

I pulled my bag out the locker and turned around to leave, when I felt someone kick the back of my knee and I fell to the floor.

"Where you going Katie?" The 'main girl' asked in a sarcastic tone.

I stood up and fixed myself before trying to head to the door again, when the same girl pulled me back and was right up in my face.

"Let's see then?" She laughed as she grabbed my wrist and pulled my sleeve up.

"Why do you have a butterfly tattooed on you? You're not 8" one girl laughed causing everyone else to join in.

I pulled my arm away and rolled my sleeve back down as I walked out the changing room and headed towards the bathroom but before I had even gotten there, the 'main girl' Shannon pushed me up against the wall and was right up in my face again.

"Listen, I'm the best dancer here Katie. I was always 2nd best when you were here but you left and I'm in charge, you might as well just leave you're not wanted here anyway. Who wants a dancer with cuts and scars? And who tried to kill herself and who makes up she goes out with Luke Brooks hmm?" She let me go and walked back to class.

I ran into the toilets with a few tears falling down my cheeks and locked myself in the cubical phoning one if the boys to come and pick me up. Beau wasn't answering and neither was Luke, I know Jai is busy today with James so I phoned Daniel to see if he would come and get me.

"Hi urm skip? Could you come and pick me up from the dance studio?" I basically whispered so he couldn't hear that I had been crying.

"Katie? It's your first day back isn't it? Why do you need picked up?"

"Please Daniel?"

"I'll be 5 minutes"

I ended the call and made my way to the front entrance, i didn't have to wait long before I saw Daniels car pull up. I got in and we sat in silence for about 5 minutes.

"So did you have a good time?" Daniel asked smiling away to himself.

"Oh, yeah it was good" I lied.

Once we had reached the house, we both got out the car and walked in to be greeted by Luke and Gina sitting watching tv and talking.

"Hey man" Luke said to Daniel not noticing I was standing behind him.

They done some sort if high five thing and skip made himself at home.

"Babe? What you doing home so early?"

"Oh I just got tired" I said putting on the best smile I could.

Luke stared at me for a moment before getting out of his seat and giving me a hug. It felt great to be home, but I had to go back tomorrow.

"How did you get home?" Luke asked while letting go of our hug.

"I asked Skip to pick me up, beau wasn't answering and neither were you"

Luke patted his pockets checking for his phone, which obviously wasn't there. He then searched the kitchen, lounge and his room and even mine yet it wasn't in any of them.

"I won't be long" Luke shouted as he ran out the door.

Well okay then.

~

Beau, Jai and James came home and we all watched tv, since Daniel had been here for more than an hour he decided he was too lazy to move and he was just going to stay the night, so was James.

"Beau where is Skye?" I asked because I haven't seem her all day.

"She was job hunting, I'm not sure"

I heard the front door open and all 4 of us turned round to see Skye with a massive smile on her face.

"Speak of the fucking devil" beau smiled as he got up and hugged Skye.

"Any luck?" He asked after.

"Yup" she smiled.

"Where is it then?" Jai butted in.

"I got a receptionist job at your dance studio Katie" she practically shouted at me with excitement.

"Aw cool" I smiled.

Skye seemed a bit disappointed that I wasn't super excited but I honestly hate that place now, but I have a contract with them.

Luke came slowly through the door and sighed, walking over to the back of me and hugging me from behind.

"Did you find it?" I said looking up at him.

"Nope" he replied, I could tell he was pissed off.

"It's okay babe, we'll find it" I smiled, reassuring him.

It was about 6pm and we decided to order pizza and rent some movies and just chill for the rest of the night. Beau and Skye went to get the movies and pizzas while me and the rest of the boys got the duvets and blankets and pillows.

We all got changed out of our jeans and claimed our spaces to sit. I was wearing my pyjama shorts and one of Luke's nirvana tops when James noticed a bruise on the back of my leg where Shannon kicked me.

"Woah what the fuck happened Katie?"

"Oh, urm? I Must have hit it on something I'm not sure" that was the worst lie ever Katie you fuck head.

"Is it not sore?"

"Nope" I was lying through my teeth yet no one noticed.

Beau and Skye came in which changed the subject from my bruise, they brought us all pizza and rented 'Cyber Bully'.

"Guys? I don't think we should watch this film?" I said, because I've seen it before and know what happens and I know they will get upset.

"Why?" They all said, waiting for an answer.

"Oh It doesn't matter just put it on" I smiled.

By the time we had finished all our food it was the part in the movie I was dreading.

It's the part where Taylor tried to kill herself.

We all watched as Taylor tried to do exactly what I tried to do. She tried to overdose just like me, both of us failing. The sound of the pills in the pot made me cringe, every time i closed my eyes i could see me instead of Taylor. Tears were falling from everyone's eyes as we watched.

I cried into my hands as I watched a young girl try and kill herself, Luke got up and walked out the room crying. Beau quickly wiped his eyes to try and hide the fact he was crying, the same with Daniel and James. Skye was silently sobbing into beaus shoulder as he comforted her.

Jai came over to me and hugged me, I lay next to him for a moment before getting up to go and find Luke. He was on his bed, with his head in his hands. I climbed up onto his bunk and sat down cross legged next to him.

"I love you Luke"

He pulled me into a hug and we stayed like that for what felt like forever and a day.

"I love you too Katie, more than you could imagine"

I lay down on my side next to Luke and he lay next to me, my back close to his chest. We both fell asleep rather quickly.

* 1 week later *

I've been back at dancing everyday this week, and every day they've hurt me. I've been coming home covered in bruises with no way of explaining it.

I'm getting tired of this, not just going to dancing

But living too.

I go through hell every day for no reason, and honestly I'm done with it.