he kissed the scars on my skin {janoskians fanfic}

Chapter 9

Learning how to speak again isn't easy, in my head I can hear what I want to say but I just can't say it. I get so frustrated and usually just end up sitting in tears for the rest of the day.

The hospital still haven't discharged me, they say I'm a risk to my own safety. My mother, Gina, Ashley and the rest of the boys are all worried I'm going to try something like this again sometime soon but honestly? I don't have the energy to do anything.

The nurses removed the drip from my arm and the machine monitoring my heart beat, I'm not physically ill but they have said I am mentally ill and need 'special help'. I don't need special help, im fine. I just want to get out this hospital.

~

I was spending the day with Beau, I haven't spent time with him in a while and thought we should have a 'brother sister day' even though we aren't related it feels like we are.

"Katie, babe. I really think you should go to this clinic for help" beau sighed

I was given a whiteboard and pen to communicate with everyone since I'm not allowed to use my phone in this prison, I mean hospital.

It took me a while to write since I was so drained but I managed.

'Beau please, all I need is my own bed, my family and my boyfriend'

Giving me a faint smile, beau climbed onto the bed next to me and gave me a big hug. There was a tv in my room so he had brought some DVDs and food so we could hang out like usual. We watched about half the film when the rest of the boys arrived. Beau got up off my bed and Luke lay down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close. I missed him, I missed having moments like this. James was sitting on the bottom of my bed chatting away, I wasn't really listening to him though. I noticed Daniel and Beau were in the chairs next to my bed but where was jai?

I scanned the room to find him sitting in the corner, he's so unsociable.

'Jai:) I've missed you' I quickly scribbled down on my whiteboard

James shouted Jai and pointed to my whiteboard, he ignored what it said and turned his attention onto his phone.

Oh?

I gave Luke a confused look and he also gave me one? Getting up from the bed Luke grabbed Jai's arm lightly and pulled him out if the room. They weren't gone long, they came walking back in, sitting back in the exact same places as before. Jai still ignoring me.

'He hasn't spoke to me at all' I wrote on my board and showed Luke

Jai must have seen it out the corner if his eye because he stood up and walked towards me.

"Do you want to know why I haven't spoke to you katie?!" He practically shouted at me.

I slid back on my bed slightly, I was scared. Jai never shouts at me or anyone?

I nodded my head slowly and grabbed onto Lukes arm.

"Because it's not easy watching your best friend try and kill herself"

I was shocked by what Jai had just said to me, well shouted. He stormed out the room and ran down the corridor Beau chasing after him. I didn't notice I was crying until I could taste the salty water on my lips. Crawling into a tiny ball on my bed luke pulled me onto his lap and just let me cry, he didnt say a word but I know he meant a lot. Daniel and James both gave me a massive tight hug before leaving the room to go and get some coffee and some dinner.

Luke wiped away my tears and kissed my cheek. We both lay down next to each other, his arms around my waist and our legs intertwined. I was just enjoying his company because visiting hours stop at 9.40pm and I'm so lonely after that. Most nights I just sit and cry until I have no tears left. Luke's breath was hot on the back of my neck, I turned round and kissed him on the nose. He smiled and kissed my nose back.

"I love you so much Kaite"

"I love you so much too Luke"

What?

Did I actually just speak?

A massive grin spread across Lukes face, I could tell how happy he was just by looking at him. I could talk again.

"I'm so proud of you gorgeous"

I turned back around after I gave luke a quick peck on the lips. I'm so drained of energy that as soon as I turned back around my eyes shut and I fell into a deep sleep.

~

I've been in this damn hospital for a week now and I'm finally allowed out. Thank god.

Luke promised he would look after me, and wouldn't let anyone hurt me.

Luke ran i to the ward to collect me, picking me up and spinning me round in circles till i begged him to stop. I got out the hospital around 11.30am, Beau drove us back but before we went home we drove around for a bit. We didnt talk we just drove, it was nice. I missed the scenery and being outdoors.

Luke tweeted

'@luke_brooks: so glad to have my girlfriend home, DO NOT SEND HER HATE'

Beau reversed into the drive way and he took my bag into the house. As I opened the door to get out of the car Luke picked me up bridal style and carried me, I couldn't help but laugh as he tripped on a stone and we both tumbled onto the grass outside the house. I stood up and brushed myself down and walked into the house to be greeted by Gina, Jai, Beau, James and Daniel hugging me at once. I loved my family. Once we had hugged I ran to my room and jumped onto my bed, it felt great to be home but I didn't like being in my room. It was where everything happened. Tears were welling up in my eyes when I heard someone lightly knock on my door and come in.

"Luke" *sniff*

"Baby why are you crying?" The smile faded from Luke's face as he sat down next to me and pulled me close.

I buried my head in the crease of his neck and sobbed, him stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.

"I thought you were happy to be home?" Luke asked as he brushed my hair from my face.

"I am b-but I can't stay in this room Luke"

I think he knew why by the way he looked at me, but I couldn't. I can't sleep in the room I tried to kill myself in, it scares me. Luke suggested I sleep I'm his bed but I couldn't sleep there forever. Then he suggested we get our own place to stay, we had the money so why not?

My mother had arrived at the house, so Luke and I thought we should tell both our mums at the same time. We walked through to the kitchen to find my mum and Gina standing at the counter chatting.

"Luke and I are going to get a place together" I grinned.

My mum gave me a 'I have bad news' kind of look. Why wasn't she happy for us?

"Katie, love. I think you should come back to Glasgow with me. Just for your safety" her Glaswegian accent was strong, mine wasn't as strong since I had been in Australia for a while.

My smile faded and my jaw dropped.

"W-what?"

"It's for the best hun"

"NO IT'S NOT MUM, IM NOT GOING BACK WITH YOU"