he kissed the scars on my skin {janoskians fanfic}

Chapter 5

'Thats disgusting'

'Ew'

'Freak'

That one picture that revealed one stupid scar ruined everything. You can barely even see it but the boys fans were disgusted. Some of the hate I received actually made me feel physically sick.

'Cut deeper'

'Luke hates you'

'Die'

I couldn't take it anymore, I deactivated my twitter but the fans still found a way to hurt me. The urge to hurt myself came back, and I couldn't stop it. I was home alone so I took advantage of the time I had. Remembering about the box under my bed, I got it out. I lifted the lid to find my enemies but also my best friends. Blades.

I was shaking so much, I told myself not to cry but it was hard not too. Thinking of Luke and how much this would crush him just made me cry more, but I know it's the only thing that can help me just now. Picking up one of the blades I could actually hear my heart beating from inside me. I knew it was wrong, but it was also so right. The metal blade was cold on my hand, i dragged it along my wrist tearing it open. Funnily enough I didn't feel pain, I felt a sense or relief, but then my relief turned to guilt.

What had I done?

Luke's going to hate me.

The room began to spin and I couldn't control myself. I slid the blade over my wrist one more time. I didn't care I was going over old scars, and I didn't care that these would leave permanent scars. I just didnt care.

I heard the door open, I panicked and ran to the bathroom to wash away the blood from my wrist. I heard a voice, it wasn't any of the brooks family. It took me a while to realise that it was James. I heard his footsteps coming closer to the bathroom, I was hoping he wouldn't notice me but I knocked the shampoo over making a loud clatter.

Fuck.

James walked into the bathroom too see me standing in front if the sink, blood stained and blood dripping from my wrists. The smile I was used too seeing faded away and turned to fear. James grabbed my body and sat me down on the floor. I was crying more than ever now, I just couldn't stop. James helped me clean my wounds and then tried to get some answers out of me. I couldn't speak, no words would come out.

I heard Lukes voice from down the hall, I stood up to run away, but instead I ran straight into him. He grabbed my shoulders to steady me and then realised I was in tears. He looked down towards my wrists, seeing the open wounds. Him and I both collapsing in tears. The only thing that was in my mind was Luke, I was scared I would loose him. I couldn't do this without Luke, he was the one keeping me from hurting myself, but it was his fans that pushed me over the edge.

"Why baby?" Luke managed to say through all his tears

"I broke"

What I had just said made me cry even more than I already was. Luke and I were sat in the hallway crying. I made my own boyfriend cry.

Well done Katie.

James left Luke and I to 'talk' bit I knew we wouldn't.

~

It's been about an hour or two since I done what I done. Luke hasn't spoke to me since, which has made this whole situation hurt even more. I've been crying so much today, my eyes are actually stinging. Beau, Gina and Jai had returned home, they had seen all the hate and understood. I've been sat with them for a while now, we haven't really spoke but the silence was loud enough to say a lot. Beau gestured for me to come and sit next too him, I got up and walked over to him and he pulled me into a huge hug. He is basically my big brother, he told me he would help me and he did. Beau got up and walked to Lukes room where Luke had been hiding for hours. He told me he would speak to Luke for me. What ever he said must have worked because Luke came out and held his hand out, I grabbed onto his hand as he pulled me towards him. I was so glad I hadn't lost him.

He lead me out the door, it was pouring rain but he didnt seem to care. We walked for a bit before stopping in the middle of nowhere. I was quite confused, why had luke brought me here? Before I had time to think about it I was greeted by Lukes lips on mine, it felt amazing. Luke broke our kiss, he wrapped his arms around my waist and just hugged me.

"I know you've always wanted to kiss in the rain" Luke said with a cheeky smile

I bit my bottom lip and kissed luke again.

"I love you so much Luke"

"And I love you Katie, so much"