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T H E P R E S E N T

P A T R I C K

"Patrick, what are you doing here?"

"I thought you loved me mommy." I walked towards her slowly as tears escaped from my eyes. I was soak and wet from walking in the rain and when I got inside I didn't look for anything to dry off with it. Of course I didn't have any clothes here because well .. I'm sixteen. And the last time I was here, I was only seven.

My mom backed away from me slowly. She was scared of me. And she had a right to be. "I do love you baby. Mommy loves you. Mommy loves you baby." Her hands shook as she held them out to keep me away from her. "But how'd you get here son?"

As much as I wanted to believe that she loved me that didn't explain the hurt I was feeling. My mother didn't hesitate to lock me up in that hellhole so I could live a regular teen life. I would never know what regular felt like because of her. "You don't love me!" I yelled with my fist balled up.

"I do, Patrick!"

"Then why didn't you come and visit me!" I yelled. "Not one time! You or dad! I never got any visitors!" I was so angry with the both of them. "You both disowned me!!"

"Patrick, we've come to see you plenty of times. They just wouldn't --"

"Liar!! You're fucking lying to me!"

"Hey! Hey! Don't you use that type of language at me!" She pointed at me like I was seven again.

"I loved you! I loved you so much mama but you didn't care!"

"I do care. I sent you there to get help baby just please.. Please put the gun down."

"I didn't need help! There's nothing wrong with me!"

"You're lying Patrick! Can't you see.. Look at you. Look where you are now. You know you're not supposed to be here and you are.."

The gun shook in my hands as I aimed it at her. She was nervous and so was I. I never shot a gun before. Didn't know what I even had it up at her for. I .. I just wanted to scare her and get the truth out of her.

I really wanted her to embrace me in a hug from not seeing me. I wanted her to treat me like a baby, like her baby and love on me until she couldn't anymore. I just wanted her to love me. I just wanted her to care.

"Cammie.. What's going on here?" My dad said as he walked in on me with a gun pointed at her. "Patrick!"

I turned and aimed the gun at him. "Don't move." I told him.

"Son what are you doing here?!?"

"I SAID DON'T MOVE!" I said as I shot and the bullet hit the wall.

"Are you trying to kill us?" He asked confused. "What's this about?" He looked at my mom. "You must've told him, Cammie? Dammit I told you not to tell him!" He stomped.

"I didn't tell him Pat!"

"Tell me what?!" I asked. "Tell me that you guys don't love me? Is that it?"

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