I was partly alive. Partly…
I was running. So fast I can feel the cold chill of the wind in my face completely numbing my senses. I don't know why I was running so I looked back, only to see an unfamiliar camp burning down together with the ashes of the soldier who just died there helpless.
I tried going back but my feet stayed stuck in the ground and all it ever did is to command me to keep moving forward which I did. I can hear explosions and then when I decided not to look anymore I saw the platform. I stood there quite amazed how on earth I got myself here.
And there she was; long hair, small eyes and a smile that is full of hope. I tried waving at her but she doesn’t seem to notice me. So I moved closer until I am already standing right in front of her, but her gaze never fell on me. She is looking vaguely at the distance waiting for a train that will never come.
“Summer.” I tried putting my hand on her shoulders but she disappeared. All of a sudden she disappeared and I was left alone.
“Harry?” then I heard my mother's voice. I can hear it so clearly that at one moment there I felt my whole world come back to life. I am not dead. At least, not now.
I remember the dream I had and realized that some parts of it were real.
“Harry, it’s going to be okay.”
I blinked twice just to make sure that my eyes are wide open but all I ever see is a dark and empty room filled with nothing but voices. I am only hallucinating, I assured myself. I tried moving my eyes but I couldn’t see a thing. I can hear my mom’s loud sobs.
“What’s happening?” that’s when I had the courage to ask. There was a moment of silence after that and I know without them answering what had happened.
I can vividly remember what happened back in the camp. The grenade exploding in my face while I was trying to get rid of it. Tears fall from my eyes and I tried my hardest to stop them but they just keep on falling.
“Harry.” That’s the only word my mother can utter. I wonder what I look right now. hideous, I’m guessing. A boy with a messed up face and couldn’t see.
“Will they ever come back?” I asked to no one in particular. “My sight.”
“The doctor said that it may be possible but there’s a slim chance of you getting it back.” It was my father’s time to speak. I hate how he can say that with such manly pride when I lay here losing all the confidence in the world.
“What do I look like?” my voice now faltering into sobs. Sobs that I never dare let out even when I was saying goodbye to Summer.
“The left side of your face got the full blow of the grenade.” That’s all he needed to say.
And all of a sudden there is a loud bang in the door and I can hear someone panting. “I heard the news. I am on duty and I heard it. how is he?” it was Celine.
“He’s awake.” Then I heard her gasp.
“I’ll let you talk for a while. I’ll call Summer.” With just one name I felt my heart beat furiously in my chest that all that ever came out of my mouth is “No.”
“But she needs to know.” There is something in my mom’s voice that time. Something that seems so important. But I can’t burden Summer about this. Her life shouldn’t stop with mine.
“Don’t tell Summer about this. Please don’t tell her.” My voice is forced and even if I can’t see, I can imagine my mother looking at me with such great pity.
“We can’t keep this from her forever.” She had a point but in the same sense, she is wrong.
“We can.” That’s how I begged them to tell those who I love that I’m dead.
“You don’t have to do this.” My mother said begging that this whole idea of me being dead is unacceptable.
“I have to.” For Summer. I didn’t have to say that out loud. I just can’t imagine the pain that Summer will have to endure while assisting me.
“Is this all because of Summer?” There’s a certain kind of pain in Celine’s voice but there is also a sense of relief. I know she’ll back me up to this. I know she’s selfish enough to back me up on this.
I didn’t answer. I don’t have to.
“But if she really loves you…” I didn’t let my mom finish.
“That’s the problem.” I closed my eyes and I saw her. That despite my being blind I can still see her perfectly. That smile that suits her face. Those beaming smiles that will help me go through this. I can’t burden her with this pain. I can’t let her sacrifice yet again for me.
“That’s the problem.” I said again, my voice now a whisper.
“She loves me too much.”
