Epilogue

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My story ended with a new beginning.

SUMMER

Featured Song

When I was little I had this perfect vision of my ideal wedding in my head, and I can’t help but laugh seeing my old beat up diary with pictures I drew out of it. I first drew out the aisle, when I was young I prefer a longer aisle so people can see me and they can tell me how beautiful I am below my drawing I wrote “walk really slow.” The aisle is painted with pink flowers and candles that smell like roses. The aisle doesn’t need to be carpeted said another memo below the drawing. I remembered imagining myself walking barefoot, with the cold grass beneath my feet.

On the next page is the dress. I had drawn lots of flowers on the train and more flowers on a dress itself. The veil is filled with flowers too, I just laughed at the mere thought of wearing flowers.

The last page has the groom in it, I drew a stick version of Harry in a supposed to be tuxedo and when I met Jonathan in high school, I drew him as well. Below his well drawn figure are the words ‘Just in case’. 

I have two grooms waiting for me on my drawing. First one is Harry, my first love, puppy love… that one guy who mocked me when we first met. The guy who chose to be left behind just so he can go to high school with me. The guy whom I sent at least about five hundred letters.

The other one is Jonathan. The one who taught me how it feels to be loved again. the guy who first smiled at me when we first met. The guy who is always with me literally ever since we met. The guy who helped me send my letters to Harry.

“Hey, you’re jittery.” Lorraine said as she entered my room. “You look beautiful Summer.”

I smiled. “Well not as pretty as you on your wedding day. Thank you for letting me have your dress. I love it.”

“I haven’t forgotten the promise we made when we we’re little.” We did promised each other to wear the same wedding dress on our wedding day. Funny how much I planned for this day, and I can’t even believe that it is happening today.

“Look at him sleeping peacefully. I can’t even imagine he can still sleep at this day.”

I look at Jonathan sprawled on the sofa peacefully sleeping with his tuxedo on and I smiled that he is here on my wedding.

JONATHAN

Featured Song

I had long before discovered that next to Harry, I’d be Summer’s second choice for a groom. It’s not much, but it is one of the things I held on to when we were in Seoul. And I think it is one of the reasons I got through.

There is this one memorable moment I had with Summer. Our second monthsary. I know it is cliché to celebrate togetherness monthly, some even celebrate weekly but we do just for the sense of it. 

It is the fourth of April, my twenty third birthday. I didn’t expect much from her, since I know that Harry still holds a big part of her and I can never replace that. But that one day she made me forget that Harry ever existed.

When I got home that day, I slouched lazily on the couch and flipped through the channels on our local cable. And then out of the blue the lights went off and then she’s there. Standing in front of me with a cake in her hands. I can still remember how her voice sounds when she said, “Happy birthday Jonathan. I love you.”

In that one moment she was mine. Mine alone. I often relieve that moment. All I ever did is to make myself believe that you love me more now than Harry, I close my eyes and see your face and all of a sudden nothing mattered as long as she is with me. Whenever I am in pain I remember her smile, her laugh and all the fun we had.

In that moment, nothing matters as long as she is mine.

I let out a loud sigh as I straightened my tux and entered the church. At least she is not really gone.

I walked to the altar as the wedding ceremony is about to start. I felt the loud banging on my chest as I stand at the altar waiting for Summer to enter.

The cathedral doors open and there she is walking on the aisle, more beautiful than ever. When she reached my spot she smiled and I reach my hand onto hers. She gracefully touch my hand and I squeeze it lightly.

"You look beautiful." I told her and she smiled.

I feel her hand on my again since this is the last time that I’ll be holding her hand.

HARRY

Featured Song

I remember Summer telling me of her dream wedding: A simple white dress. Ballet flats. And flowers in her hair. And I smiled that at least she got what she dreamed of. The doors opened and her favorite song played while she walks. I watch Summer walk down the aisle, the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen. Her long white dress flowed down her body, her wavy hair adorned with a ring of flowers on top of her head. When she reached the altar Jonathan took her hand. She smiled at him sweetly and I remembered everything.

From that first moment I saw her reading a book up to the moment we last talked. Jonathan looked at her in the eyes and smiled.

“You look beautiful.” He said.

“Thank you.” She kisses him on the cheeks and walked towards the altar.

Jonathan slightly punched me on the arm.

“You take care of her.”

And then passed Summer’s hands to mine.

“I will.”

My vision isn’t perfect yet, but I see Summer clearly in my head. In that moment I swear I don’t need my sight to fully see her. I had her memorized. Every single detail of her is in my head together with every envelope that she had written To Harry on it.

When we reached our chairs at the altar, I stopped her first from sitting.

“Wae?” (Why?) she says lazily and I laugh.

I took the locket out of my pocket and carefully tuck it on her neck. 

“Forever.” I say and her laugh is my assurance.

I couldn’t have fought for her. I couldn’t have run back for the locket. I might not have lost her once. I might not have found her. I couldn’t have written her letters everyday. I couldn’t have read her letters. But I did. I have no regrets. I could have failed, but guess what,

Our love, despite everything….

prevailed.

The End.

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