Unable To Love//Lucaya

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I was sitting in Mr. Mathews' class on a Monday morning as one does during the weekdays. I was doodling in my notebook as I tend to do in class when I don't feel like listening to the teacher ramble on about things I don't care about. Someone walked into the room but I didn't really pay much attention to it. I figured it was probably someone who needed something from Mr. Mathews or something. The only thing that made me look up was when I heard the class gasp and I saw a large hand land on my desk. When I looked up at who the owner of the hand was, I wanted to stand up and smack that smug grin off his face.

"You're late Mr. Friar."

Sorry, uh," he peeked over at his desk. "Mathews."

"That's Mr. Mathews. You can take a seat anywhere that's available, but please sit down and be quiet so my class can focus."

He rolled his eyes before scanning the desks to choose a seat.

Please don't sit behind me. Please don't sit behind me. Please don't sit behind me.

He then looked down at me and smirked.

He smirked.

He walked next to me down the isle and lightly brushed up against my arm. I wanted to tackle him right then and there, but I controlled myself.

He brushed his fingers against the desk behind me, which just so happened to be empty, before swinging himself into it. I mentally cringed. Any other girl in this entire class would have been more than happy to sit anywhere near him, but no. He had to sit behind me. Perhaps this is confusing, so let me explain.

Lucas is an actor, well known for his part in The Cowboy, a show where he plays the main character, Peyton Donovan. The show itself is good, I mean, I'm not saying he's a bad actor. Just a bad person. No one really knows why I don't like him. Most people wouldn't understand anyways. Its not like I never liked him or anything though. I used to love him and his work, but one time I went to one of his meet and greets because it was in the area. He seemed nice to everyone in front of me in the long line, but when it was my turn to meet him, he looked me up and down before he proceeded to give me a $10 bill and told me to go buy myself some clothes that weren't from Goodwill. I then ran off to my mom, tears in my eyes and told her that we needed to leave.

So yeah. That's why I hate him so much.

Mr. Matthews went back to teaching his lesson and I went back to my doodling.

"I remember you" I barely heard him whisper from behind me.

I tried to ignore him but he tapped on my shoulder. I whipped my head around and whisper yelled back to him. "What?"

"I said... I remember you. From my meet and greet. I tried to give you money to buy new clothes but you ran off like a little girl."

I felt the tears coming back as I remembered the events that took place only a few months ago. I couldn't hold back anymore. There are no security guards to hold me back or throw me out. Just me and him in a classroom of people who don't really give a damb what I do.

I stood up out of my seat and slammed my hands on his desk, causing the entire class to look at me.

"You weren't gonna give me shit Friar! You just insulted me and laughed about it with your big ass security and I was left defenseless!"

"Maya, calm down!" Mr. Mathews scolded. I just ignored him and continued to say what I needed to say.

"And you know what?! I'm not defenseless anymore! Oh no, I have my own self as my defense! I can take you on any day, Friar, and don't think I'm bluffing! I will knock you down right this second if you do as much as say one more damb word to me that isn't sorry!"

I paused to see if he would speak. He did. And oh boy was it exactly what I had expected.

"I didn't even do anything wrong. Its not my fault that you're poor and can't afford to get good enough clothes to make yourself look presentable!" He raised his voice. "I was trying to be generous by giving you money and all you did was run away! How tough do you think you are?! Not tougher than me! You couldn't knock me down if you used all your might! So yeah, I am calling bluff." He finished with a smirk and I couldn't take it.

It's like the world was in slow motion as I jumped off of my desk. The closer I got to landing on him the more i saw his face morph into pure shock. It wasn't long until I was on top of him throwing punches at his face as he tried to get me off. But I wasn't going anywhere until I felt satisfied. No one could move me, I only heard faint yelling of my fellow classmates, friends, and teachers. But they were all tuned out buy the ringing I had in my ears from all my pent up rage as I got up and kicked him one last time before running through people's arms, out of the classroom, and out of the school completely.

I don't have that much money. My dad left me and my mom when I was young, and my mom works at a bakery where she barely makes enough to pay rent. I told my mom about what happened at the meet and greet with Lucas and she bought me new clothes the next day with money that she didn't have. I told her that if I needed new clothes or something, that I would get a job myself. Since then, I have tried to have a couple jobs but got fired from them within a week. I was fine with it though. I just accepted that I'm no good at keeping a job. The place my mom works at is cool though. It's called Topanga's and its run by my best friend Riley's mom. Riley, Farkle and I always go there to hangout after school, or anytime we're bored, really.

Farkle and Riley are my two best friends that I have known since preschool, and I love them with all my heart. They have helped me through many rough times, such as when my mom divorced my dad. I remember one time when she lost her old job so we couldn't afford rent and Riley's parents let us stay with them until we got back on our feet. Riley's dad is a father figure to me, since I never had one growing up. He always says that im his daughter anyways, so it just makes me happy to know I am lucky enough to have someone like him in my life. I love all of them greatly, and wouldn't trade them for the world.