But Then I Met Her | ✓

Chapter 48

After dinner, Zeke insists that I hang out with him and Shauna and Lauren, but I refuse, claiming that I have things to do. When they tried to get me to elaborate, I told them that I had some stuff to do in the control room.

I walk out to where I told Tris to meet me- I still can't believe that she called me her boyfriend- and I briefly wonder when I stopped trusting my friends. But that's stupid- I do trust them- but this is strange. When did I start keeping secrets from them? When you met them.

But that's obvious. I can't just tell them about my father- it's the past, and we've always said that the past doesn't matter. But the memory of the punishments are still fresh in my mind, and I can still feel the sting of my father's belt now.

I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Tris. The moonlight bounces off of her hair- tied back in a ponytail, like it usually is- and it looks almost silver. I don't say anything, just take her hand and pull her toward the tracks.

I pull myself easily into a train car as it passes us. It's so easy, I could do it in my sleep. Not that I'd want to. I'd really rather not risk being run over by a train, despite what you may think. I'm Dauntless, not suicidal. 

I pull Tris in after me, and she falls against my chest. My hands slide down her arms and I hold her by her elbows tightly as the car bounces. I feel extremely warm with her being this close to me. Tris watches the Dauntless compound disappear behind us. "What is it you need to tell me?" she shouts over the wind.

"Not yet." I reply. I sink down to the floor and pull her with me, my back pressing into the cold metal wall of the train. She faces me, her legs trailing off to the side. She doesn't look real, and I get the odd and strangely amusing idea that she's just a dream, and I'll wake up soon and it will be the day of the Choosing Ceremony again, and in a few weeks I'll be leaving to join the factionless.

But if this is a dream, I really don't want to wake up.

I press my hands against her face and fit my mouth against hers. The rails screech as the train slows, since we're nearing the city. The air is cold, but I don't feel it. I tilt my head a little and kiss the skin beneath her jaw.

The car wobbles a little bit, and Tris gets thrown off balance. She reaches out to steady herself, her hand landing on my hip. I'm very aware of every place that we're touching, and it makes it hard to concentrate on why I brought her here in the first place.

She moves and sits on top of me. She kisses me, and I sit up straighter. I slide my hands down her back from her shoulders and unzip her jacket a few inches. She shivers a little- it's probably forty degrees with the wind- and presses her hands against her legs.

 I pull away and look at the tattoos on her collarbone, three black silhouettes of birds. I lightly run my fingers over them and smile. "Birds." I say. "Are they crows? I keep forgetting to ask."

She returns my smile, though it seems slightly forced. "Ravens. One for each member of my family. You like them?"

I don't reply. I pull her closer and press my lips against each of the birds. I glance out the door and touch her cheek lightly. I hope she can't hear my disappointed sigh. "I hate to say this, but we have to get up now."

She opens her eyes and nods. We stand up, and I pull her with me towards the open door of the train car. The wind isn't that strong now, probably because we've slowed down. I lift my hand and point to the Erudite headquarters.

"Apparently the city ordinances don't mean anything to them, because their lights will be on all night."

She seems to have noticed that the lights were on before. "No one else has noticed?" She frowns.

"I'm sure they have, but they haven't done anything to stop it. It may be because they don't want to cause a problem over something so small." I shrug, trying to hide my doubt that it's something small. She looks at me with slight worry. I decide to express my doubt, since she can probably tell that I doubt it anyway. "But that made me wonder what the Erudite are doing that requires night light."

I turn to face her, leaning against the wall. "Two things you should know about me." Curiousity lights up her eyes. "The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general," Like you. "It is my nature to expect the worst of them." You've seen why. "And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers."

She nods, knowing that I'm not bragging. She looks as if she expected this second thing about me. I hope that she realizes that I am not good at everything. "A few weeks ago, before training started, I was at work and I found a way into the Dauntless secure files. Apparently we are not as skilled as the Erudite are at security." Ironic, isn't it, since we guard the fence? I don't recall deciding to tell her this, something that I didn't even tell Harrison. "And what I discovered was what looked like war plans. Thinly veiled commands, supply lists, maps. Things like that. And those files were sent by Erudite."

Tris looks as though she's having a difficult time processing this. "War?" She brushes some loose hair away from her forehead. She looks up at me, a little bit of fear and horror leaking past the walls in her eyes. "War on Abnegation?"

I take both of her hands, entwining our fingers. There is no sense in lying to her, since she'll see right through it. I don't see why I should bother trying to spare her feelings. "The faction that controls the government. Yes." I take a deep breath. "All those reports are supposed to stir up dissension against Abnegation." I don't look at her, keeping focused on the city. I don't want to see her expression, knowing that war is something that I won't be able to protect her from. If her family is targeted, I know that she will fight for them. "Evidently the Erudite now want to speed up the process. I have no idea what to do about it....or what could even be done."

She stares at me wide-eyed, and I realize what she's thinking before the words even leave her mouth. My stomach drops. "They're going to use us."

"I wonder how they plan to get us to fight." But even as I say it, I can think of numerous ways- some of them involving threats, murder, and even mind tricks.

Tris's hair gets blown across her face, and she leaves it there, the blonde curls forming a sort of mask. Her grip on my hands is like a vise. "I don't know."