But Then I Met Her | ✓

Chapter 35

Not even Marlene, Uriah, and Lynn know about this part of initiation.

After doing Gabe, I open the door to the Fear Simulation Room. That's what it's called- though most people refer to it as the FSR. "Lynn." I say, locking my eyes on her and beckoning to her. She walks sort of slowly, the blue light making her look zombie-like.

I hook her up to the machines, go through the usual stuff about what's going to happen, and start the simulation. It takes about twenty minutes, but then she's out. I unhook her from the machines, tell her she did good, and show her out a back door.

After her is Peter, who I'm pretty sure wet his pants. Then it's Christina, a girl named Maggie, Will, Molly, Aly, a girl named Tay, a guy named Mitch, another Dauntless-born named Aaron, and so on.

I check my list to see who's next and then open the door. My eyes lock on Tris, and I motion for her to come in. "Come on, Tris."

I see Drew stick out his leg to trip her and fantasize about breaking his leg, but Tris hops over it at the last minute. I touch her shoulder to guide her into the room and shut the door behind her. She jumps backwards a little, her shoulders hitting my chest.

Her eyes are locked on the reclining metal chair, then they move to the machine, and then the computer. She takes in the rest of the room, too, her face pale. "Sit," I say. I squeeze her arms a little, hoping to encourage her, and push her forward.

"What's the simulation?" She asks, trying to keep her voice from shaking. It doesn't work.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'?" I ask. This is unusual- most initiates don't really care. "We're taking that literally. The simulation will teach you to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation."

She touches a shaking hand to her forehead, and I have to use all of my willpower to not reach out and try to comfort her. She sits down in the chair and presses her head against the headrest almost mechanically, as if she knows what she has to do but doesn't like it.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" she asks. 

I consider what to say for a minute. If she has any idea of who I am, I have to throw her off. "No," I reply. "I avoid Stiffs as much as possible."

This really throws her off. I can see her confusion. "Why?"

"Do you ask me that because you think I'll actually answer?" I try to make my tone harsh.

"Why do you say vague things if you don't want to be asked about them?" She challenges. She has a sharp tongue. She'll have to watch that if she wants to survive.

I move her hair away from her neck, the tips of my fingers brushing against her skin. I get the syringe ready, and she tilts her head back to see what it is. The liquid in it is a brownish-orange color. I hold the needle in one hand, my thumb against the plunger.

"An injection?" Her face pales a little.

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation serum here," I tell her, "a different serum, no wires or electrodes for you."

She's still curious. Unusual for the Abnegation, but it's something that I like about her. "How does it work without wires?"

"Well, I have wires, so I can see what's going on, but for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer." I turn her arm over so that the palm of her hand faces the metal armrest- apparently she thinks that this is injected into your arm- and ease the tip of the needle into the side of her neck, trying to be gentle. She winces and watches me.