Shattered Violets (girlxgirlxboy)

Shattered Violets~36

36

I don’t know when sleep finally took me over, but I woke up with the morning rays hitting my face from the window I had opened the night before. Stretching in bed, I rolled over as flashbacks from last night caused me to exhale deeply.

I have to admit that I was beyond relieved that he stopped himself from raping me. I know most won’t call it rape, since he is legally my husband.  Still, for me, I know that I will never feel for Damon the way he feels for me. I know he longs for me to love him, but I can barely handle being in the same room with him as it is. Let alone having to face him if he had forced himself on me. In all honesty, Damon has Damon has done nothing to endear himself to me. Most of what he’s done to me is unforgivable. In such a short amount of time, he’s destroyed my life. How can I ever be with a man that taken me from everything I had loved and grown to care for.   

Pulling myself out of bed, I made my way into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. After I brushed my hair and teeth, I did the normal morning things and got dressed. Before leaving the bathroom, I double-checked to make sure the little glass bottle was still in my vanity drawer. There it sat like a beckon of hope. 

Finding a t-shirt and a pair of shorts that seemed to fit my womanly curves, I headed down the back stairs in search of something to eat.

Thankfully, I made it all the way to the kitchen without running into anyone. Checking the counters, I noticed a pot of coffee and some muffins sitting beside it.  Grabbing a cup and a poppy seed muffin, I took a seat at the table located in a little breakfast nook and looked out the window as I ate.

I had to admit that being back home was hard. Not just because of the obvious reasons that brought me back here, but because of the memories of my mother that kept flooding back to me. I missed her so much and being hear caused me to see bits and pieces of her everywhere I turned.  

I remember so many mornings sitting at this same table as she hummed in the kitchen making me French toast and sausage. She really wasn’t a good cook, but she could make some mean French toast. My father thought she was just being silly because we had a full staff to handle such things. Still occasionally she’d get a wild hair and feel the need to make me breakfast. How I missed and longed for those times. Feeling a tear run down my cheek, I said a little prayer for my mom.

Turning my attention to food, I bit into the muffin, letting out a sigh of delight over the taste of the breakfast treat. I think this was the first time I actually remember tasting something I put in my mouth. I knew it had to be due to all the stress I had been under the last few days. Thankfully, I could sit there and enjoy my solitude; I knew it wouldn’t last long if Damon had his way.

I had just finished my last sip of coffee when Hilda, the head housekeeper came into the room, letting out a gasp when she saw me.

“Oh, I’m sorry Mrs. Hannon. I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

“Hilda, it’s me Vivian. Please just call me Vivian as you use too.” I told her.

“Yes, of course Miss Vivian. I just didn’t want to over step my bounds with your new husband around.” I could hear the underlining fear in her voice when she mentioned Damon. It made me wonder what my husband had actually said to the staff concerning me.

“Don’t worry about him.” I told her. I watched her shrug her shoulders and fiddle with her hands. She was trying to roll of her underlining fear, but I could see it was still there.

“Is there anything I can assist you with?” Hilda asked me, her tone professional.  She no longer sounded like the woman that helped raise me all those years when my parents would be out of town.