Charming and Awkward

Chapter 33: Growing Up

Song: Dark On Me by Starset
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-James-

The day after New Years, Cristin was on a plane back to Iowa. The following Monday my dad officially signed the house over to my mom. A week into the New Year and my dad was packed and ready to leave with Sara in a couple of days. He said he still has business to wrap up and after that I tuned out.

Being at school was still weird. I hate being gone so long and then being thrown back into it. I haven't seen Violet much since New Years. This thing with Reese was starting to get to me again and I shouldn't let it. But it's there, like a claw in my mind reminding me that he's still here. The thought of Violet going back to him frustrated me.

Not saying that she is, but I wouldn't stop her.

I'm used to being left behind, especially by people I love more than anything. I've tried to keep myself guarded since my parents got divorced. Some people say divorce is no big deal and that it happens often. It's not even the fact that they're separated. It's the result of the divorce. It was still hard to wrap my head around the fact that my mom wanted the divorce too.

I don't want to feel like that again. The pain is still there, like Violet said, it'll always hurt. Some days it'll hurt worse, others you'll barely feel it at all. No matter what I hated it. I didn't want this pain. It crawls under my skin and sinks its teeth in. Pain can be physically and mentally crippling and I hate it. I hate it so much. I'd never wish any of this on anyone.

My thoughts kept wondering and I knew I was sitting in my own pity.

There was a knock on my apartment door and I rose from my couch to answer it. Chaos was at the door before I was and I slung the door open. Violet stood there, a smile on her face. She stood on her toes and kissed me before walking inside. I closed the door and turned to give her a small smile. "I'm happy to see you," I said and slipped an arm around her waist.

She slid her hands up my arms and locked against the nap of my neck. "I'm happy to see you too." Her eyes drifted over my face before locking on my gaze. "Is this stuff with your dad bothering you?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "But I'm okay with it now. I'll still see him and he's right, I don't need him here. I have my mom and I need to focus on helping her with the company here."

Violet smiled at me. "You'll feel better, I promise. And you're going to be fantastic when it comes to your dad's company. Maybe not running it anytime soon, but learning how in the mean time."

I lifted a hand to her cheek and smoothed my thumb over her skin. "You always know what to say."

She stood on her toes and our lips met for a moment.

That was until Chaos broke us apart.

* * *

I felt fantastic when I woke up the next morning. I told myself to suck it up and stop being a baby. I've had everything handed to me growing up and it's not going to be like that anymore. I'm going to take responsibility for what I do.

After my late class, I drove to the company to pick Violet up from work. She told me I didn't have to, but of course I was going to do it anyway.

I parked in my normal spot and made my way through the building. My mom officially moved her office to the top floor a few days ago, now that my dad isn't going to be working here anymore. The thought pinched my chest for a moment, but it was over quickly.