Killing For The Cure

Chapter 12 (Lacking a will to keep going and also a lexa)

Note 7

Will died. I never thought I'd lose somebody during this trip but already I've lost two people.

Lexas POV.
I open my eyes to find Rosamunds face inches from my own.

"Hi," I say awkwardly as she continues staring.

"Ummm." I add when she still doesn't respond.

"65... Is that a normal heart rate for you?" She finally responds.

"I don't know... Should I know my heart rate?" I reply. Looking down I notice my ankle. Oh right the trap. I almost forgot what it did to me.

"Does it hurt? I gave you some pain killer so it shouldn't but you know. I don't want to just assume."

"It doesn't hurt. Is it okay?"

"Should heal. Just don't walk around on it."  I groan response. Don't walk around! How else am I going to get out of here!

Ems POV.

"We can't leave right now. It's night and there's wolves out. So sit down and shut up," Zane growls at me before storming away. Likely to deal with Josh. He's been trying to start a fight ever since will died.

Well what  am I supposed to do now. Obviously I can't just sit and shut up or else I'll think about Will and how I got him killed. So to Jake and Henry I go. Of course the two are far away so I'll have to go to them one at a time. Cynical or slutty first? I'm feeling cynical today.

I slowly approach Henry as he gives me a suspicious look. He's smart enough that he probably know why I'm here.

"So what happened with you and Jake?" I question making him roll his eyes.

"What happened with will?" He counters. Making me grind my teeth.

"He died, because unlike you he didn't have Zane protecting him Because he can actually fight for himself. If you knew how to fight for yourself maybe you wouldn't be letting Jake use your body all the time," I hiss back glad I chose cynical. It felt good to argue with him. He's smart enough to keep up and throw back just as hard.

"At least he just uses my body, instead of using my death to make a dramatic change in personality. Were you waiting for the perfect death as an opportunity to announce you had a change of heart or did it just feel right in the moment?" He hisses right back. Letting out a maniacal laugh, i give my response before walking away, knowing  I've won our sick little game.

My own words echo in my head. 'At least I care about will. Are you stupid enough to think Jake could say he cares about you. He didn't even care about the bruises marking your body. You're just a body to him. Nothing more. Nothing else. Nothing but a body.'

When I reach Jake I'm shocked to find tears on his face. Well, I'm not getting involved with that. I quickly avoid him. I bet the twins will be just as fun to talk to.

Zanes pov.

Everything's gone to shit. Wills dead and Ems gone a bit unhinged. She thinks I don't know that she went off to use Henry and Jake to blow off steam, but I'm not dumb so I do. I would've stopped her but I'm busy dealing with Josh.... If knocking him out counts as dealing with him. Let's hope he wakes up with brain damage and is no longer himself. It would make this a hell of a lot easier. Guess I can go try and fix whatever trouble Em just caused. Between her and Josh we will be lucky if any of us make it to the end.

When I get to Jake, I notice Em standing far away looking at him before quickly running away. That's odd.

"Jake," I call as I walk up to him. Once I'm close enough I realize why Em ran away. He was crying. Well, maybe if I don't mention it, it won't be a problem.

"Hi," he replies softly, not looking at me. I sit down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders lazily.

"It's kind of weird to think that pretty soon we're going to be out of here," i state.

"Pretty soon I'll be out of here and you'll be coming right back to try and save more people," he corrects angrily. Since when does he ever have this much attitude.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" I groan.

"I wanted people safe, and you didn't care that I did, but the second Em wants it you want it to," he replied. Is this jealousy? He's jealous of Em. That I trust her opinion more?

"Maybe you're the reason it was so easy for her to change my mind. Can't you just be happy you're getting what you want?"

"I'll be happy when it doesn't take someone dying to make you change your mind."

"People are going to die. A lot of people. Maybe me. Maybe Em. Maybe Henry, or Lexa, or even the twins, but no matter what happens I'm going to make sure you don't die. Is that enough for you? I'll let everyone die, including me, before I'll ever let you. Why isn't that enough for you? You just can't be happy being alive?"  He flinches slightly but doesn't move away.

"I'm happy being alive, but how much is life worth? Is it worth others death?"

"Life's worth anything."

"Not anything. There's always going to be a line where it's not worth it anymore."

"There's isn't a line!" I growl back, before pulling away from him. Why doesn't he understand. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make sure he doesn't die. If I could I'd give him immortality, but that isn't possible. If scientists can't even make a cure for the givers, then there's no way they could cure mortality.

Lexas POV back to our future aka Em.

"Lexa, just stay still and wait. It's night time, and there's traps out there. You can find Em later when the sun comes up!" Rosamund shouts at me making Em huff. I need to find Em right now! By now she's probably trying to get to the end. If I let her get any further I might not ever see her again!

"Stop fussing about it! When you fuss you wiggle and your ankle needs you to stay completely still!" She reprimands.

"Stop fussing," I mock her. What ever drugs she gave me had me feeling fearless. I miss Em. I wonder if where ever she is, if she misses me. Probably not I'm just the idiot who thought she was wrong and yet only managed to prove why she was right.

"I need her. Right now!"