Behind My Blue Eyes

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Wait, what?" I was silently praying it wasn't who I expected.
"Kat's f*cking dead!" He yelled taking a swig of liquor and I cringed. I stepped closer to him. His eyes were blood shot and he was scaring me. "Aiden," I said soothingly reaching for the glass bottle of hell that he had in his hand. "Get the f*ck away from me!" He roared, startling me in the process. I knew he was drunk, but it hurt that he was pushing me away.

I ran to the stairs, but stopped when I heard a car door slam. 'Please don't have it be dad, please don't have it be dad. He can't see Aiden like this.' I thought. I heard Tessa's voice.
"FUCK YOU!!" She screamed.
"I just want to fuck you! And only you baby!" Brandon's voice exclaimed from what I guess was inside his car.
"That isn't what you said to that slut last night!" She opened the door and slammed it shut letting out a frustrated ugh.

Then I looked, really looked, at her for the first time in almost a month. Her cheekbones protruded from her face. Purple bags were under her chocolate brown eyes. Her skirt was slipping off of her hips and her legs didn't look strong enough to walk on. She scared me, and I bet she was scaring herself. She looked back at me, glared, and then walked past me.

Her glare used to be cold and frightened me, but the one she just gave me was different. It was sad and almost saying, 'I know I look horrible, but please don't say anything.' I walked up my staircase and ended up at the end of the hallway. My parent's bedroom double doors where securely shut as usual.

I hadn't been in there since my Mom passed. My dad would never let us go in there. It was either because he was hiding something or it pained him too much, but now I don't care. I picked the lock with my nail and opened the door. It had a faint vanilla scent which my mom used to love to have in her room. I missed that sweet scent. The bed was perfectly made and untouched.
My dad usually slept in the guestroom, which Kylie was planning on making the nursery, when he slept the night here (which was not often.)

To the left was my mom's closet. I went over to it and opened the door. I needed to find something. I know that she knew it was close to the end before she died. She had to leave something. I sat down picking up labeled boxes. I picked up one and noticed a stack of envelopes behind it. The one that was placed on top had Jennie written on it. I carefully opened it and started to read.

Jennie,

By the time you read this, I will be gone. I love you, your siblings, and your father so much. I hope that you are happy if you're father has gotten over my death. If he is still grieving it, please forgive him. He had such a hard time when his mom died before we got married. He will eventually come around, I just know it. I wanted to also tell you how strong and mature you are. I know that you are the youngest, but as time goes on, I know you will be the strong and positive one. Please watch over your siblings for me. If they are making mistakes, tell them. If they are making good decisions, help them achieve it. I trust that you can take care of them and get through the tough times. You have my favorite feature, my blue eyes. Whenever I looked into them, I saw your strength and I could never see behind your blue eyes. They would always cover up your emotions and remember that is a good thing. I'm looking down proud. I love you, Jennie. -Mom

The tears welled up in my eyes and I thought about pushing them back. But. I didn't. This wasn't supposed to upset me and it didn't. I was crying because I missed her hugs and knew she was always here with me in some way. Sometimes, I forgot about that. She knew I would be like this and she was proud. Too bad what she said about my dad was right. I always hope that he will come back and be the father I have always known, but it has been 7 years and he hasn't changed back. He is slowly shutting us out. It isn't going to get better, but I know that I have to say something.

I took the whole stack of letters that had my siblings' names on them. I lightly and quietly shut the double doors behind me as I stepped out of their room. I could hear Tessa's cries down the hall.