Change Me | Hariana

Our Downfall

Chapter 35: Our Downfall

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Ariana's Pov:

Numbness; the feeling of being emotionally unresponsive.

Right now that's the only emotion I held. All my anger washed out, all my depression of the sudden occurrence that I wish I hadn't witnessed has been drained from my body, and here I am standing on a bridge, leaning over the railing, while watching the still body of water.

It is hard. It's hard telling your mind to stop loving someone even though your heart still does.

I've been strong for too long and held on too much that I can't feel my body any longer. It was time for me to finally let him go. It was time that I freed him from my heart and mind.

Everyone says everything happens for a reason. And maybe all the arguments and fights Harry and I shared were proof that we were never meant to be for each other.

Picking an immense amount of pebbles, I began throwing each one on the water, watching as the water ripples around it, disrupting the water's before tranquility.

On my other hand, I held a bottle of vodka that I bought at the nearest liquor store. Throwing my head back, I began chugging down the flaming drug that burned my throat and will sure make me regret the things I will do tonight after the drug fully takes over.

I sighed at the serene picture I get to watch after me. I visualize the run of water being my life and the pebbles I threw being Harry's. When our paths collide nothing good seems to happen and only obstacles and disturbance seems to only go our way.

Light footsteps came closer to where I settled, the bottom of their heel tapping the concrete making me hear their advance. As the person finally stood beside me, I still resumed throwing the rocks, not caring or taking a glance to analyze whom it was to show their pity for me.

Breathing in, I tucked a strand behind my ear and nibbled on my fingernails - being a forced habit of mine.

"I don't know why I deserve this kind of punishment. What did I ever do wrong? Have I ever sinned so much that I don't deserve my own happiness?" I questioned the person near me not much depending on a response or care on my unpromising life.

I really want to die right now. No one will come to my funeral nor will cry for my loss. Louis would doubtless celebrate along with the lads, while Harry would cheer that no bother would be disturbing his business anymore.

The person who situated beside me, placed both his hands on the railing, and by the familiar tattoos embossed on his arms, I knew who it was.

My heart stung once again at the fact that Harry didn't bother to chase after me, but I'm also glad that he didn't because I needed to regain my strength and take in the memory that will forever remain in wits of Harry with the anonymous girl.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back at the club?" I asked as I ogled out the water, enduring its beauty stillness knowing that tomorrow will probably disarray.

He answered my question with a hush as he resumed staying beside me - his presence somewhat consoling to me.

"I know he's hurting you Ariana," Zayn broke the peace, and I simply responded with a sigh at the mention of him.

"But no matter what he did to hurt you, it only pains him more you know," he said.

I scoffed at his excuse of an explanation towards Harry's bipolar emotions. And to think that he was here to be a friend and rage with me on how Harry was an asshole.