Change Me | Hariana

Dear Harry, Love Sophia

Chapter 10: Dear Harry, Love Sophia

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Harry's Pov:

I situated myself on the separate chair placed next to the other lads who took up the space of the couch.

Slouching back on the seat, my finger scrolls through my phone screen as I scanned through my mentions in twitter. I didn't pay much attention to the tweets; my mind was much more focused on what just happened earlier this morning.

That Ariana girl slapped me. Then after, confronted me on how I didn't have the right to say those things about her on the interview.

To be honest, sometimes I don't know what comes out of my mouth because whatever I thought in my mind, I just say it out loud and because of my past, it greatly affected on how I treat people now.

What she did was a coward act and I will never forgive her for leaving me as she was suffering by herself. I could've been with her until her last breath, but she ran away from me.

She was everything that I could ever wish for. During that time, fate was good at me for bringing me such a beautiful girl to love. And she wasn't Taylor.

She was not famous. She didn't sing. She didn't act. She didn't dance. She wasn't a model. She was a simple girl and her name still gave me chills from its soft diction - Sophia.

To people in society, they think that someone simple was never enough for me, but to me it's the definition of beauty and aptness.

No one knew of her existence in the media. We kept our relationship a secret - my decision - not wanting her to get hurt from my fans, knowing from a close perspective of Liam and Danielle's relationship that the one I love will tend to hurt from the brutal opinions of others. I love my fans, but they tend to get possessive and abusive with the girls I, or the other lads, choose to date.

She worked day and night to keep herself going. She lived independently as she told me about her adventures and the struggles she faced in life. She also added that she was a fan of the boys and me. We had been dating for 6 months and in all those months, we shared nothing but admiration for one another.

One day I arranged a picnic under the moonlight - since she was not one who likes fancy dinners on the top of the Eiffel tower with a violin playing classical tunes next to us, like some girls - to show her how important she was to me.

She kept it simple and she would always get upset when I spend too much money on her. That night was going to be my confession about the burning passion my heart ached ever since the 3rd month and now almost a year.

Pitifully, just as she was going home from work, to get herself ready for the arrangement I made, she was involved in a car accident.

Fortunately enough, from my endless prayers at the altar, she survived the accident. However, the accident had a great effect on her spine, which enabled her to move any parts of the body below her stomach.

I would visit her as much as I can at the hospital, bringing her bouquet of flowers and fruit baskets thinking that it would make her feel better.

But she changed.

The usual sparks in her eyes were gone. The bright smile and giggles we're not to be seen or heard after her accident. Whenever I visited her, she would face her back to me and pretend to be asleep and it pained me to see the change. However, I kept strong. I knew that she was only broken because she could no longer use her legs. Therefore, I stayed and I didn't question her.

Then one day, I was finally going to give her the ring I bought to promise her that I would stick by her side no matter what, but when I arrived she vanished. The hospital was bed made, the whole room was spotless - seeming as if she was never here in the first place.

After her disappearance, I had looked for her. Nights turned into mornings. Just 2 months after Sophia's vanishing, Taylor came in my life. She was the one who caught me when I was going to fall. However, all her kisses, hugs, smiles did no justice for me. I used her just as she used me. I used her to fill in the emptiness I felt and sorrow and she used me of the same thing.

One day, I received a letter from Sophia that made me realize that what I had with Taylor was never real.

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left you. I'm sorry that I left your heart broken into pieces and left unspoken. I didn't know what to do. The incident was the root of this all.

I truly do love you Harry. And you are always placed in my heart. I love the smiles and laughs we shared together, trust me. I am just now writing this letter because I just wanted to tell you that I have moved far away from danger. In addition, the doctors found an infection which is spreading out throughout my body and which will be close to my brain soon. I am on life support. Please don't look for me, don't try and find me because it will hurt me even more seeing you depressed and feel sorry of what had happened to me. I love you very much. I wish we spent more time together.

Just remember that you didn't do anything wrong. Don't ever blame yourself. I left because I had to protect you and myself also from the heartbreak. I wish I could write more. I have millions to say and I wish I can describe how much I love you in this paper but then that would be endless.

Always know that I love you. Goodbye.

Love,

Sophia

I remember when I was trying to keep the tears from falling but miserably failing as small drops stained different parts of the paper. The despair I felt as my heart impelled faster and harder than normal. And how my throat clogged up at how much pain I felt, not allowing me to speak.

When I looked furthermore in the letter, it also contained a white gold lace with an angel as its pendant and a halo made of gold. I remember how I held the necklace close to my beating chest, knowing that this was the necklace I got her on our very first date.

That day, I went to Taylor's house, realizing how I used her like a toy and broke it off not wanting her to get dragged with me.

I tried changing; I went to therapists and asked them for advice, but they just antagonized me. The only friends I had that understood my situation were vodka and cigarettes.

But what is that feeling? Seeing Ariana almost cry, her eyes full of hurt, also knowing I was the reason for that. I thought of all the possibilities for the feelings only one answer that came to conclude.

I was beginning to care for her, and that didn't make me happy at all.