Types Of...

Christmas Gifts

1. The Horrible Gifts

Okay, so this gift is usually from your parents.

Well, for me anyway.

This gift is usually either some clothes or shoes.

And don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative and very thankful for every gift that I receive.

But it's like they stop trying once you get older and they decide that you'd be better off with a freaking Christmas sweater!

It's like, get me a doll (yes, I still play with dolls), a bracelet, some mula, SOMETHING!

Buy me a pug and I'll be satisfied!

Like, get the really fat ones though, okay?

I want to struggle to pick up my pug.

Lol, and here I am describing the one I want like someone's actually going to buy me one.

Oh well -___-

2. The Homemade Gifts

This gift can be from anybody,  but it usually comes from a younger sibling.

Say that Christmas Day is finally here and everyone's gathered around to open their presents.

You pick up your present and you see your brother/sister smiling at you, so you already know it was from one of them.

So you open it up and it's a drawing of you and them.

You smile and thank them in their face, but then you end up losing it and you secretly hated it because she/he drew you as a freaking butt hole.

Lol, I'm kidding!

Kind of.

But people are always like, "It's the thought that counts."

And I'm like, "Instead of counting thoughts, I could be counting this cash that you didn't give me!"

Lol, I'm only (not) joking.

3. The Weird Gifts

Alright, these are the gifts that I hope no one ever has to get, but it's inescapable.

Just like the Kardashians!

Ugh!

I've brought this upon myself.

Let me continue on with the important things in life.

But the person will usually hand you your present and stare at you until you open it.

So you shake it up to try and see what's inside, but you just can't put your finger on it.

So you unwrap it, and you just stare at it because you don't know what to say.

So you just fake smile and say, "Thank you! I've always wanted a- water bottle with sand in it."

NOT!

4. The Deceiving Gifts

This hasn't happened to me before, but I've seen millions of videos online of people receiving these presents.

It'd usually be a really huge box all wrapped up and everything.

And you get all excited because you think what on earth it could possibly be?

Then you start unwrapping it and there's like, a thousand more boxes inside, and you have to keep opening each one until you reach the bottom.

Like, unless it's a pug inside that fucking box, don't do that shit to me!

The only exceptions are food, pugs, and money.

And it better be a hell of a lot money.

Making me search for hours just to find $1.

Fuck out of here.

Lol.

5. The Anticipated Gift

This is usually another gift your parents get for you.

Or if you believe in Santa Claus, that would be him "wrapping your gifts."

I'm not about to sugar coat shit!

If you're old enough to read this book, you're old enough to know that Santa is not freaking real.

Now, I'm not here to crush anyone's dreams, but there's this thing called common sense!

Use it!

Anyway, back to the real shit.

You'll be sitting down and they'll hand it to you, and you're smiling hard.

And you want to know why you'd be smiling hard?

Because you already know what your present is because you either saw it in the trunk, or you peeked at your present.

So then you have to pretend like you didn't already test out your gift.

Lol, that just reminded me of me and my sister.

I know what she got me!

It was between COD:3 or Assassin's Creed: Black Flag.

She got A.C, and I'm pretty happy about that.

But I don't know the other gifts she got me.

I don't want to spoil anything else for myself.

Good Day!