Their Vampire Legacy (Complete)

Chapter 17: Who Is She?

AJanae's POV:

It was three days after the funeral and four days to be exact since Jaewon had asked me out. It was officially Monday. I was currently sitting in the library studying for an upcoming physics test before Tamarind had joined ever so quietly. She had work of her own to do and didn't talk much so I didn't mind her company.

It was when the talkative Aria arrived that I mentally sighed, already closing my textbook aware that was the end of my studying session. Her immediate response was not of a normal greeting. She sat down right beside me and edged in closer, "Word is that Jaewon asked you out." she says innocently as she twirls one of her red strands of hair around her index finger. 

I know that's her way of asking me to elaborate or give a detailed explanation of what went down. I glance briefly at Tamarind who was smiling from behind her book as she glanced back at me. I am glad she was finding this entertaining.

"He did." I simply answer Aria.

Aria rolls her brown eyes and taps her pen repeatedly on the table until I give in and tell her everything that had happened two days ago.

"Jaewon I like you, I do. You are a great guy and you always make me laugh and smile even when I am feeling down and it's rare gift because not many can achieve that with me, but you always manage too." I find myself smiling as I give him the truth and he seems to be happy with what I have confessed to him.

"I like you too, well obviously I do. I mean I just asked you out, well you already know that, never mind I don't know what I'm saying." he babbles on and for the first time since I've known Jaewon I see that he's actually nervous and it's because of me. I hated being the source of his discomfort.

Here comes the challenging part...

"What I just said was the truth Jaewon but I wasn't finished." I explain and the smile on his face immediately falls as if he knows what's coming next. I take a deep breath before continuing, "I haven't told anyone this yet but I guess I owe you an explanation for my refusal." I make it clear that my answer was not what he was hoping for and the sadness in his eyes hurts me that I have too look away to continue on. "I have only been in one relationship before and it ended a couple of months ago and you could say that it never ended for the best, in fact we no longer are even on speaking terms. It's not that I don't like you or I simply don't want to go out with you, I just feel that I'm not ready to jump back into dating and if I said yes, I would be leading you on and that's something I just can't force myself to do to you." I admit the truth and it comes out softer than expected because of fear of having some type of meltdown in front of him.

I down want to look at him, I don't want to see the rejection in his eyes because I know how it feels. "Hey AJ, you don't have to avoid looking at me. I am not mad, disappointed a little but not mad. I get it, really I do. Don't sweat it and I respect you for telling me the truth." I hear him say. 

I already rejected him and down I was making it even worse by not meeting his eyes. I was just hurting him and showing him no respect by looking anywhere other than Jaewon. I forced myself to do what I'd want others to do if I was in Jaewon's position, I meet his gaze.

"I am sorry Jaeown. I don't want to hurt you but if I say yes then I will end up hurting you but if I say no I hurt you anyways but at least I will be honest with not only you but with myself too." his hazel eyes soften and a small smile forms on his lips.

"You are a very confusing AJanae but that's what makes you a mystery. Trying to understand your thoughts is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle, but that's what I admire most about you." he jokes and I let out a giggle, feeling that he wasn't going to take this as horrid as I had previously thought. "I know I am about to sound insane but by you saying no instead of yes in fear of leading me on, well, it just makes me want you to be mine more. You're a girl of very high standards and maybe I don't meet your expectations at the moment but one day I will prove it to you that I do." he winks at me before casually walking away, leaving me at a complete loss for words.