Depression//Phan

-9-

||Dan's POV||

It was about 2 a.m. As I was walking to my room, I was a bit surprised to be hearing quiet weeping from Phil's room, but yet at the same time, I wasn't that surprised.

I didn't even knock. I didn't really see the point in it, if all he was doing was crying.

I twisted the door handle, quietly poking my head in. Sure enough, Phil was sat there, his knees hugged tightly to his chest, and his head in his knees. I slowly moved closer to Phil, sitting beside him on his bed.

He was a little startled. He looked over at me. He had definitely been crying -- his face was tear-streaked, and his eyes were big, red, and puffy from all the crying. He seemed to calm down a bit when he realized it was only me.

I hated seeing Phil this upset. It literally pained me to see him like this. I hugged him tightly.

"Phil," I said gently. "What's wrong?"

"It hurts so much, Dan. All the hate, I mean," he said between hiccuped sobs.

"I know. I know it hurts," I replied. "I know the feeling..."

I honestly could relate with a lot of what Phil was going through. I used to have depression, too, until Phil came into my life. He was my first real friend, and he also dragged me out of that hell.

"I can't take it anymore," Phil said quietly, almost a whisper. He sniffled. "I just can't."

"I know you're strong. I know you can do this. I'm here for you, too."

"I've tried being strong. And I'm getting really tired of trying. I've tried too hard." Phil pulled me closer to him, hugging me tighter. I let out a small sigh. I hugged him even tighter, but not tight enough to hurt him.

"Phil, look at me," I said, and he pulled away, looking at me. "You have to try. Please." I wiped a few tears from his cheeks. "I know you can. I'm not going to let you just give up, either. I care about you way too much to do that. I love you so much, too," I said to him. And every word I had just spoken, every word I had told him... it was all true. Very, very much true. I really did love Phil a lot. I really did care about him way too much. And I really wasn't going to let him give up on me. Not yet. I know there's a way out of this, and I'm going to help him through this, being there with him through this entire thing.

"I'll try," he said, his voice shaking a little. I pressed a short kiss to his lips, before hugging him again. "And I love you too."

I smiled a little bit.

"Dan?" I heard him say quietly.

"Hmm?" I replied, waiting to see what he was going to say.

"Thank you," he whispered.

I nodded. "You're welcome. I'm not going to leave you, and I don't plan to, so I'll be here with you through it all. Just remember that," I said. I could tell he was smiling without even having to look at him.

||Phil's POV||

I was so incredibly lucky to have someone like Dan to help me through this. And even better, Dan could relate to what I was going through. He knew how bad the pain was. He just understood.

Although, I wish I didn't have to go through all this pain or depression. I wish nobody even started to hate on me this badly. I don't even know what I did to deserve it.

I let out a sigh. "Dan, why are people hating on me? I didn't even do anything. Most of the fans have become haters, as well. I hardly have a fanbase anymore," I said. He sighed as well.

"I wish I knew the real reason, too. People are just dicks, I guess. They find enjoyment out of being rude. But why the fans have turned into haters as well, I don't know. It's quite unusual. Usually the fans stick up for you. So I have no fucking clue at all," Dan replied. I buried my face into his shoulder.

"Make it stop," I whined. More tears filled my eyes as I began to have flashbacks of some of the things I have seen from the haters. Dan rubbed my back, still hugging me tightly.

"I wish I could, Phil... I really do... I don't want you to be sad anymore."

"I don't want to be sad, either. I can't help it when I constantly have reminders about how much people hate me, though," I said. God, just talking I sounded broken.

"I know..." he said. I let out another shaky sigh.

"Sometimes I really dislike people. I mean, just the people who are rude," I said. I really could dislike people who are rude to me easily. Especially nowadays.

Dan let out a soft and quiet chuckle. "Oh, believe me, I can relate strongly to that." I gave a quiet laugh.

I was going to pull away, but then realized Dan wouldn't let go of me no matter what.

"Daaaaaaan, let go," I whined.

"Never!" He replied, grinning.

Good thing I had a back-up plan, then.

I managed to snake my hand up and towards Dan's neck, touching his neck. His breath hitched and he was internally cringing (I could tell he was), as well as squirming a bit. He moved away so I couldn't touch his neck.

I laughed quietly, my tongue poking out of my mouth.

"Phil!" He exclaimed. "You especially know how much I hate people touching my neck!"

"I know, but I touch it anyways," I said, still giggling. He hit my arm lightly.

"Don't touch my neck or I'll have to tickle you," Dan warned. I rolled my eyes, touching his neck again.

"Oh, I'm so scared," I said sarcastically, giggling once more.

He was curled into a ball, just cringing there. He tried swatting my hand away.

"Phil I swear to fucking god..." he started, but I then pressed my lips to his, shutting him up. I pulled my hand away from his neck, pulling away from the kiss.

"You don't swear anything to god," I joked.

He paused for a moment. "Phil, do you even know who I am?? I swear everything to god," he said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head a bit. Then I gave a small yawn.

"I think we should at least try to get some sleep. Plus, it's..." I paused, looking at the time on my phone. "2:25 in the morning."

Dan nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we probably should. I'm getting tired anyways. Unusual for me, as I'm usually up until like 4 a.m. every night, but whatever," he said, moving off my bed and standing up. He walked over towards the door. "Goodnight, Phil."

"Goodnight, Dan," I replied, before he exited my room. I immediately curled up into my duvet, closing my eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

A/N: Hi! So, I know I haven't updated in forever, I'm sorry! I've just been really, really busy with school, and I've also had a huge writer's block with this. So yeah, here's your chapter :) Hope you like it!