Far Better Than

Chapter 36

"W-what are you saying, Jace?" I trembled. I trembled because i see in his eyes that he really wanted to do something like devouring me fully.

He kissed me to shut me up. I tried to struggle but it is no use.He kissed me passionately as if he really missed me. I held his shoulders to push him away from me but no use, its no use. I really felt helpless. Then, I heard myself moan when he starts kissing my neck as his hands unbutton my pajama top. I am not wearing my bra and because of that I felt him more. I wanted to cry.

"S-stop" I beg.

He continue touching and kissing my body as if he didn't hear me. I don't want this, this isn't right.

I gasp when he pulled my pajama leaving only my underwear. I felt so naked.

"P-please, stop" I cried.

"I will stop, marry me then."

He continue kissing me passionately but yet it felt gentle at the same time. I felt his hands touching my thighs but i stop his hands from reaching higher. I wouldn't let him to touch me at my center but as I continue battling with his hands and as he is kissing me he intentionally slips his tongue at my mouth to kiss me deeper. I am not prepared in his invasion in my mouth and I accidentally let go his hand and my hand grasped his shoulder.

I don't know what's happening to me. My body and his body felt hot like he and I have fever.

His hand freely roaming on my thighs higher than they should not have been and then goes down to my knees and goes up again, he repeatedly doing that. I can't stop my moan when his hands go up and held my bottom. I felt his body, his hardness on my core. He also is repeatedly moaning.

I felt delirious. His lips now on my neck sucking and nibbling. Then

"uhhhhmmmmm s-s-stop" I moan as he cupped my breast and start to massage it while his lips kissing my left breast. His other hand on my core. I never felt this feeling toward a guy, I am lying if I said that I don't want it but this should be stop. I want to do it when the time is right and i want to do it with my husband. But Jace is not my husband. This thing is precious to me.

"ahmmm J-jace s-s-stop" I tried to push him but he just pressed his lips harder on my breast. A loud moan escape from my lips. Louder than his moan.

"S-stop, I... I w-will marry you" i finally said. I don't want to married to him but I don't want to do this thing called premarital sex either.

He looked at me as if he is dazed, as if he is waking from a beautiful dream. He smiled genuinely.

"I want to make love with you right now even though you agreed to marry me."

"P-pero sabi mo kapag pinakasalan kita i-ititigil muna. Don't make it hard for me please"

I notice that he kept looking at my breasts and I immediately cover it with my hand. I remember that I am almost nude with just my underwear covering me up and my pajama top with all the buttons open.

"I can barely stop myself from devouring you but i will keep my promise, I will stop for now. You make the right choice, sweetheart."

He kissed me on the lips and on the forehead.

"You must sleep for now" then he layed down next to me.

I can't almost look at him, his only wearing that piece of garment.

And i can't get off to my mind what just happened.

"h-hindi ka pa ba aalis? Gusto kong matulog mag- isa please" i said habang hinihila ko yung kumot para balutan ang sarili ko.

Tiningnan niya ako ng matagal. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

"Okay naiintindihan ko. Pero mind you Zea, please don't run away from me. I will always find you."

Kinuha niya yung robe and naglakad papaalis ng room ko.

"By the way, my hotel room is next to you. Hahayaan muna kitang matulog ngayon. Mag-usap nalang tayo bukas about our wedding. Good night, sweetheart."

After he left my room, I honestly don't know what to feel. Nalilito ako, totoo bang mahal niya ko. Honestly, ayoko ng maramdaman yung sakit na naramdaman ko dati. Nasasaktan pa rin ako minsan kapag naalala ko na ipinagpalit niya ako kay Ynna. Kung magpapakasal man kami ni Jace, I should not let myself fall in love with him too deeply.

Hindi ako dapat na umasa ng kahit na ano sa kanya. I learned my lesson the hard way.

Pakiramdam ko pinaglalaruan pa rin niya ako hanggang ngayon pero minsan nararamdaman ko na parang nagsasabi siya ng totoo.

Ayoko ng magkaroon ng koneksyon sa kanya but now kailangan ko siyang pakasalan. Naalala ko si Sean. Tama si Sean. Agad kong inayos ang sarili ko and tinawagan ko si Sean sa phone pero hindi niya sinasagot. Siguro tulog na siya.

Nagpunta na lang ako sa bathroom and naligo. Bakit ba ito sa akin ginagawa ni Jace? Natakot ako sa kanya kanina. I don't want it to happen between us, we're not married. Mataas ang importansyang ibinibigay ko pagdating sa ganun. I felt like crying again. I felt like my whole life is a mess. Pinipilit kong bumangon and magsimula uli ng hindi ko kasama si Jace and kung kailan ako natututo saka naman siya bumabalik.

Tinapos ko ang aking paliligo and lumabas na ako ng bathroom. Then narinig ko yung cellphone ko na tumutunog. Si Sean tumatawag.

"Hello Sean"

"Zea" he said. Para siyang nakainom based on his voice

"I'm sorry, Zea. I don't think i can continue with our marriage. Hindi ko kayang madamay ka sa gulo ko. Ayokong masira ang buhay mo by marrying me even though we would not be married by love." he continued.

Although medyo nakapagprepare na kami sa kasal, hindi pa namin nasasabi sa iba na we would be getting married.

"Sean, ano bang sinasabi mo? Nasaan ka ba ngayon? Pinag-aalala mo ako"

"Aalis na ako Zea, I can't continue this. Hindi ko itutuloy ang kasal natin and hindi ako papayag na magpakasal sa babaeng pinili ng parents ko. I will go for now. May be go for outside the country but please don't tell my parents about it. Ako na ang magsasabi sa kanila. Good bye, Zea" and he ended the call.

A/N: Sorry po for the long wait. I will try to update again next week. Thank you for reading this.