A Little Piece Of Heaven (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 46

Charlotte's POV

"Are you comfortable Charlotte?" The nurse asked.
I just looked at her, well the parts of her I could see anyway, which was only her eyes. Was I comfortable? What a fucking joke. How could I be comfortable? I was in a room, alone, only allowed four visitors a day, visitors I couldn't see anyway because of all the stuff they had to wear, oh and don't fucking touch me, oh no, no contact. So nah, I wasn't comfortable, I wasn't comfortable at all.
I ignored her, closing my eyes. Hopefully she'd go away soon.
"Are you going to eat?" She asked me.
"I can't." I mumbled.
She looked at me. "Your mouth."
I nodded.
"Show me."
I shook my head, just opening it hurt.
"I'll get you something for it Charlotte, but I need to see."
I opened my mouth, grimacing, it hurt. Mouth ulcers, another beautiful side effect of radiation.
"Oh sweety." She said.
Yeah oh sweety alright, I could barely move my lips.
"Let me see what I can do."
I nodded, watching her exit the room. Time to go back to listening to the hiss of sterile air being pumped into my room.
I closed my eye's. I fucking hated this, maybe I'd be better off dead than putting up with this shit.
The door opened again and I looked up. It was Elizabeth, well I assumed it was, it wasn't like I could really see her.
"Hi." She said smiling.
I grunted.
"So two days." She said.
I nodded. Two days until the transplant.
"Are you ready?" She asked me.
I shrugged, at this stage I couldn't care. "What about you?"
She nodded. "I'm ready."
Elizabeth was my donor again. I didn't want her to be but after searching extensively they couldn't find a match anywhere.
"It'll be okay Charlotte." She whispered.
Would it? I had to wonder.
The nurse suddenly came back in, carrying something.
"Here." She said handing me a cup of clear jelly looking stuff. "Swish it around your mouth, it's liquid lidocaine."
I nodded and she left again.
"Ulcers?" Elizabeth asked.
I nodded, taking a mouthful and gently moving it around in my mouth.
"Zack's outside, he wouldn't mind seeing you?"
I shook my head, swallowing. Fuck it tasted horrible. "No."
"Charlotte."
"No, I don't want to see anyone." And I meant it.
"Well I'll be in tomorrow night, getting ready."
I nodded. I really didn't want to talk about it.
"Charlotte." She said softly. "Everything will be okay."
Was she trying to convince me or herself?
"Anyway I better go. Matt is waiting."
"Tell him he doesn't have to come." I mumbled.
Elizabeth laughed. "Seriously Charlotte, nothing would keep him away. Anyway I'll see you tomorrow."
I nodded, watching her leave, of course she'd be back tomorrow.
I closed my eye's until I heard the door open again. I looked to see Matt walking in.
"Hey." He said quietly.
I smiled. "Hey."
He stood there. Fuck this was so unfair.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
I shrugged, bursting into tears.
"Charlotte." He murmured. "Fuck."
I wiped my face. "I'm okay."
He groaned. "I just want to touch you."
I nodded. I wanted to touch him too. "Soon.....hopefully."
He nodded. "I'm counting down the days."
"Me too." I whispered.
This was what was the hardest. Matt. Being away from Matt.
"I love you baby." He murmured.
I smiled. "I love you."
"Good." He murmured.
He stayed for a little while and we talked. I tried to be positive but it was hard, so very hard. Matt was the only positive thing, my goal was to touch him, kiss him, rip his fucking shirt off again,
"I'll see you tomorrow." He said smiling, getting ready to leave.
He reached his hand out but stopped himself. "Ugh I just want to kiss you."
"Me too." I whispered. I wanted to kiss him more than anything.
"Soon."
Yes soon and I couldn't wait.
I watched him leave. Poor Matt, he hadn't signed up for any of this but he'd never left my side, not once.
I rolled over, closing my eyes.
Matt was the only reason I was doing any of this.