In the morning I wouldn't say everything went back to normal, the events of last night not forgotten. We forgive each other but there's an uneasiness that wasn't there before. He's trying hard to fix what happened, he's sweeter than normal, hugging me more, kissing me more, etc. But it still feels off. Soon enough we are back to work and back on the road giving us less time to talk and we grow farther apart.
It's been almost two weeks and Andrew and I barely spend anytime together we just bury ourselves in our work. On the outside I seem pretty put together but internally I'm collapsing without him. I'm barely eating anything I just don't feel hungry. The tension is felt all throughout the band. During a soundcheck Andrew accidentally plays the wrong chord on his guitar and just sets it back on it's stand before storming off. Everyone looks at me like I can fix it.
"What?" I look at the expectant faces before going after him. I find him sitting on the roof after about ten minutes of searching and a few directions from people who had seen him storm past.
He's sitting with his back to me looking out over the sky line. I can see a thin like of smoke and know he has a cigarette, I frown and I walk up behind him placing a hand on his shoulder.
"Andrew?"
He turns to look at me and sighs. I gently grab the cigarette from his hands and crush it under my shoe. "I didn't know you smoked."
He runs a hand through his hair "I haven't in a long time."
"Are you going to start again?" I sit down next to him wrapping my arms around his middle leaning on his chest.
He wraps his arms around me resting his head on mine. "If you don't want me to I won't but I can't keep this up. The constant tension and stress. Do you not want to be with me anymore? I don't want you to be unhappy either." He looks like he's about to cry and I feel extremely guilty.
"No not at all, I love you Andrew and always want to be with you but I don't know what's wrong with me. I want to be with you so much I really do but there's this feeling of I don't know how to describe it but it's like something missing. I don't know if it's just my self doubt or I don't know Andrew." My words all rush out and I bite my lip anticipating what he will say.
"Aria let me help you, please. We can figure out what it is and fix it together but we can't do this alone. Let me help you Aria." We lean closer together and he kisses me, this one is different from our previous ones it's more desperate and passionate. His hand comes up to cup my face to deepen the kiss the other pulls me closer to him.
When we finally pull apart for air we are both breathing heavily.
"We should head back they will probably wonder where we were." I'm bewildered and shocked and left wanting more but we have work to do.
We don't have time to spare with all the work that has to be done after the delay of whatever it was that happened with Andrew.
During the concert I find it extremely different to concentrate. As I'm trying to take pictures Andrew keeps staring in my direction. He's definitely into his performance, more than normal. I mean let's be honest a majority of his songs reference sex but I doubt some of the phrases need that much emphasis, especially when he's staring directly at me. Another bone I have to pick with him is the fact that he's practically making out with the microphone, I mean I get some great photos but it's extremely distracting and my stomach twists uncomfortably. This isn't fair not at all. After the concert ends I immediately want to head back to the hotel but of course Andrew takes his sweet time between packing up and then hanging out with fans. It's great that he's interacting with fans but not now. When we are finishing gathering all of the equipment I see him smirk at me, he knows exactly what he's doing. That jerk.
•••••I want to dedicate this chapter to ColorfullyBlinded who comment on my chapters which honestly means the world to me. Thanks love! Don't worry you'll get what you want soon enough••••
