Invisible

THE TRUTH ABOUT ASHLEE

I DON’T KNOW WHY I AGREED TO THIS… No matter how brave I become, how much I think I can take, I still can’t stand the feeling. My hands tremble as the medical examiner checks me, Anna’s hand wrapped tightly around mine. It doesn’t really stop it, but I guess it helps.

It takes a long time before everything’s over. They treat me for the bruises on my stomach and collarbone, and before I know it I’m walking outside, into the parking lot. Now all I have to do is wait seventy-two hours for the test results, to know if Jeremy really messed me up…

It sucks waiting that long.

I climb into Aiden’s truck as Anna starts it up, and we’re driving along the highway.

“Really Emma,” she says as we approach a red light. I keep my eyes closed, my mind scattered. “I’m sorry.”

“Anna,” I say, keeping my eyes closed, “Please stop apologizing.”

“No. I should have listened… You’ve always been right about the jackasses I’ve dated… well… this is a little different…” The truck starts moving again. “But I really do want you to know I’m here for you… and…”

She hesitates, doesn’t continue for a while. I open my eyes, look toward her. Her eyes look teary, as if even thinking about what’s happened makes her want to explode. I sigh as I nudge her on the arm.

“I know you are,” I say, “I’m not mad… Hell, I probably would have gotten mad at you too.”

No I wouldn’t.

I watch as we pull into Aiden’s driveway. Jack’s truck is the only one that’s missing. Everyone else is here. I step out of the truck, walk toward the front door. Ali opens it before I can even try to attempt.

“Emma,” she says as she stands in the doorway, her voice cracking, “are you alright, sweetheart?”

I walk past her, and in the light, I see her facial expression, and I really have no way of describing it. It’s as if she’s lost Blake… or Aiden or Ethan… One of her own flesh and blood is gone, and I wonder why she’s looking at me as if I’m the one she’s upset over.

I mean, I know she’s upset, but… I didn’t think she’d be this upset.

“Ali—”

She squeezes me, her arms as warm as they’ve always been. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I should have said something. I knew you were going through… I mean, I knew something was wrong…” she trails off, pulls away from me, her motherly eyes so pained…

My eyes tear up, and I nod, reassure her that everything’s fine.

“No, it’s not.” She takes my hand, leads me upstairs, into her bedroom. Ashlee and Blake are sitting on her bed, their legs crossed, eyes matching Ali’s. Anna follows us, closes the door behind her as we make our way toward them.

“What’s going on?” I ask as I sit next to Ashlee, her eyes dead, gone. I stare at her.

“We just want you to know how much you mean to us,” she says, “and we want to make sure you understand it.”

“I don’t get it… I know you guys care about me, but—”

“Emma, you may think I’m the weirdest one here. I never argue because there’s nothing anyone here does that’s worth arguing about. I never raise my voice because I’ve had bad experiences with people who tend to raise their voices when they don’t get their way. And I may act like you… and it’s because I am.”

I stare at her blankly. “You mean you were raped?”

She nods, staring at her hands as she clasps them together. “My real brother did it back when I was in high school. I told my parents, but… well, my brother basically had supreme rule over them… It was pretty sick… But I never really told anyone else until I met Ethan…”

She hesitates, looks up at me. “I never thought I’d find someone who cared… I mean, not just Ethan… I can’t really say he saved me because I had to save myself… And I did. I realized that not everyone in this world are like my brother or my parents… I found people that cared enough about me to help me get out of what I was going through.”

“Where’s your brother now?” I ask. She smiles.

“Prison. Once I proved he did it, my parents kinda… disowned me. I don’t really care too much, only because I’m happy where I am now.” She gently grasps my shoulder, then my arm. “And that’s where we want you to be.”

I nod. “I’m starting to get there.”

She shakes her head, her smile slowly fading. “It takes a lot of time, even after you tell someone…” she stops, looks up at Ali. She’s been standing the entire time, watching me as if she wants to understand what’s going through my head. “We know you can rise above this, Emma, and we’re willing to help you.”

I sigh a bit of relief as Ali sits next to me, wraps her arm around me.

“I will, especially,” she says, “I promised your mother I’d take care of you…” she trails off as she pulls my hair away from my face, stares me straight in the eyes. “And I’ll be damned if I fail you.”