Invisible

A HERO

I SIT IN MY BEDROOM WITH ANNA, wait for Mark and Jessie to come home. Jeremy decided to stay with us, to drool all over Anna, to torture me with his eyes aiming right at her chest. She keeps blushing as if he’s being the charming boy she thinks he is. He keeps smiling at her, doing little things such as pulling her hair away from her eyes, saying his cheap pick-up lines. Of course a girl that knows him would find that sweet.

All girls except me.

“I’ll go get some drinks,” he says, standing up, “Emma, you want anything?”

I shake my head as I stare at him. “No, I’m fine.”

He nods, walks out of the room. Anna sighs deeply, smiles.

“Oh my God, he’s so…” she hesitates.

Stupid?

Invasive?

Nauseating?

“…sweet.”

I try not to roll my eyes.

“Do you think we can go out?” she continues, “I mean, do you think he’d ask me?”

Now I’m freaking out.

Oh, he’d better not.

“Anna,” I say, “why is it that all of a sudden, you like him? I mean, when we were in school you wanted to beat his ass every time he’d hit on a girl. Now he’s hitting on you, and—”

“Are you jealous?” she asks, smirking at me. Now anger’s rising.

Ha.

“No, why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. Just wondering because you’ve never asked me about the people I’ve liked.”

Well, there’s a difference between all of the boys you’ve dated and Jeremy.

Would you like me to tell you?

I sigh as I stand up, look outside. I see Mark’s truck parked in the driveway, Mark and Jessie climbing out of the truck. Then I see Michelle and I smile, run out of my bedroom.

“Michelle’s here!” I yell. I hear Anna’s footsteps running after mine.

“Oh my God!” she yells as she catches up to me, “I can’t wait to see her! She’s so adorable!”

We run outside, and I freeze, Anna starting to walk. I watch with fearful eyes, my hands starting to tremble. Jeremy beat me. His arm is around Michelle’s waist, Anna joining them as if nothing’s wrong, everything’s fine.

He won’t do anything.

“Emma,” Anna calls, “come over here.”

I force a smile, walk toward them. Jeremy smiles at me as Michelle hugs me. I wrap my arms tightly around her to make sure the monster won’t make his way in, won’t try to pry her open as he’s done to me.

“She’s so sweet,” Jeremy says, “like you.”

Anna glares at me, and Jeremy smirks, his hands clenching into fists. I can see that he wants it badly now.

“Come on, Michelle,” Anna says after a while, “Let’s go inside.” She leads her into the house, and Jeremy whispers something to me, words that I really don’t want to comprehend.

“You’re mine,” he whispers, “All of you are.”

I gulp as I walk past him, back into the house.

<><><>

All of us are sitting on the floor in my bedroom, Anna and Jeremy reminiscing. Michelle is sitting with me, talking about two of her friends, two friends I don’t remember her ever having. I watch as Jeremy’s focus shifts from Anna to Michelle to me… and it’s making me sick.

Anna breaks away from their conversation, checks her phone.

“Oh shit!” she exclaims, “I have to go.” She stands up, Jeremy following her.

“I’ll walk you out,” he says, smiling. Anna blushes again.

“Thank you. Emma, I’ll see you later, alright? Roommates are fighting again.”

“Ah.”

They leave Michelle and me alone, and I watch her. She’s talking about school, about how crazy her teacher is. I smile as I try to remember what it was like when I was her age. One word could describe it— Happy. My mother would always tell me just how happy I used to be, how I would laugh at everything when I was little. I try to imagine being back at that place, back where I began and where the world was so alive and I was alive with it. I want to be that little girl again.

Then I snap back to reality as Jeremy walks back into my bedroom.

“So, Michelle,” he says, “you’re getting older. Maybe it’s time we spend more time together? You are going to be my little sister after all, and…”

His body was pressing onto her.

I squeeze my eyes shut, try to block the thought out.

He tried to scream, but he covered her mouth…

And somehow her lungs refused to work.

“Michelle!” Jessie calls from downstairs. I open my eyes, watch Jeremy as he watches me, his hands clammy, eyes violating me as he stares through my shirt, sees exactly what he wants to invade.

“Yes!” Michelle calls back. I take a deep breath, try to let fear out.

“Mark wants you to come with us! We’re going to get something to eat!”

“Alright!” She stands up, runs downstairs.

“Jeremy, you coming!” Jessie calls again.

“No!” he responds, “Emma and I ate already!”

Jessie doesn’t respond, and I hear the front door slam. I stand, walk toward the window, watch Michelle as she climbs into the truck, as the truck disappears down the street.

Why does Mark insist on leaving me alone with Jeremy?

“I think you have good people around you,” he says as he walks toward me, a gentle hand on my shoulder, “Me, Anna, Michelle.” I can feel his smirk burying itself beneath my skin. “They’re all beautiful, really.”

“Jeremy, you promised.”

“Yeah, but lately you’ve been breaking your end.” He yanks me to face him, his eyes filled with anger and disdain. He pushes me onto my bed, lies on top of me.

“Give me what I want,” he says.

“You’re not going to lay your hands on anyone else other than me, or I swear—”

The back of his hand hits the side of my head, so hard I can’t think clearly, my words jumbled together. He smiles.

“Or what? You’ll tell Mark? You’ll kill me?”

He kisses me, punches my side until I kiss him back. Then he pulls away, pulls my hair away from my eyes.

“You love me too much for that,” he continues, “You said so yourself. Now the only thing you have to do is prove it.”

He tugs at my shorts, and I close my eyes, let him do what he wants. It’s worth it, I guess… Giving myself up for someone else.

And I guess it’s better that way.